Now a days modern modes of transport are available; still some people believe that a bicycle is the best way to get from one place to another. Do you agree or disagree?

In the quarter of ,2021 I

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

followed many essay competitions for sustainable issues that focused on food and the environment with microbiology assistance. I participated in the field because I

did

Verb problem

apply

show examples

read and

research

Wrong verb form

researched

show examples

through many websites

such

Linking Words

as Z-library about sustainable foodstuff and nature articles and books by foreign researchers, mostly from India.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I attended a writing digital marketing webinar

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sponsored by Google that explained how to influence people to buy products

through

Change preposition

show examples

reading a text on

social

Correct article usage

a social

show examples

media advertisement posting . Based on research activities and a soft skills webinar, I produced an essay-writing formula for joining many essay championships. As

the

Correct article usage

show examples

result of many events, I won one that was held by the Food Technology and Agroindustry Faculty of

Matram

Correct your spelling

Mataram

University for the national second winner about food sustainable solutions from algae. The final result

gave

Verb problem

allowed

show examples

me to improve my ability in writing skills for other fields

such

Linking Words

as articles and a story. More

clear

Change the word

clearly

show examples

, I was chosen to help my friend in media for the InovTek Expo 2022

wrote

Wrong verb form

write

show examples

an article about opening day 1 of the Expo for social media posting. It was held by Badan Riset Daerah NTB (BRIDA) and one of the shows for

welcomed

Correct article usage

the welcomed

show examples

Motor GP Mandalika 2022, Since I

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

entered Senior High School, I helped my father in Iqro’ and Alqur’an teaching kids around my home between

Magrib

Correct your spelling

Maghrib

and Isya time. I taught them with knowledge from my dad and engaged based on insight from my Islam teacher and friends during Qur’an reading time.

For instance

Linking Words

, I

told

Verb problem

taught

show examples

a good pronunciation for many of the characters and I taught them with my father's method is shadowing my mouth. I was totally thrilled when they did it well and told their mom that influenced me to be a better teacher similar to my father. The best part was when my dad’s students finished 30 juz and their parents came to my home

for thanking

Change preposition

to thank

show examples

the already taught children until they graduated. It can tight

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

between two households immediately.

Thu Mar 31 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay provides interesting insights into your experiences, but the main argument regarding bicycles vs. modern transport methods is not clearly established. Make sure to fully address the prompt in your essay.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of your essay is somewhat unclear. Consider organizing your thoughts into clear paragraphs with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. This will help the reader follow your ideas more easily.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more connecting phrases and transitions to guide the reader through your points. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it more cohesive.

content

You have a strong personal narrative that adds a unique perspective to your writing, showcasing your experiences and achievements, which can engage the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

341 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think government should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discussion both views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary era, people are inclined towards adventurous sports sparked a debate where proponents argue that it should be banned whereas , others advocate that people should decide for themselves about the risk involved. This essay will explore both the views and as far as my opinion is concerned, I favour the latter statement.
9
band
Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on food and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think that these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Recently, many have argued whether governments' implementation of special taxes on consumable products with high levels of sugar is a necessary development or not. Two sides emerged: those who agree with it and those who oppose it. Both parties present solid arguments, which will be discussed below and attached with a personal opinion.
7
band
Some think that too much money has been spent looking after and reparing old buildings, so we knock down old buildings and buikd modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Whilst a substantial number of individuals assume that a large amount of money has been allocated to repairing and maintaining old constructions, I disagree with destructing old buildings as they are a part of culture and identity in each society.
7
band
Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, AI technology and computers are progressively being adopted for the improvement of knowledge. In my opinion, robotics can develop the learning experience and will have a positive impact on the education process.
6
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Some people argue that advertisements tell a lot about a country. I personally agree with this viewpoint because advertisements portray the culture and lifestyles, and illustrate the beliefs and thoughts of the people of a country to show how necessary their products are.

Now a days modern modes of transport are available; still some people believe that a bicycle is the best way to get from one place to another. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discussion both views and give your own opinion.

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on food and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think that these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some think that too much money has been spent looking after and reparing old buildings, so we knock down old buildings and buikd modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer