IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Computer games are becoming very popular among children of all ages and nationalities. Parents say they are concerned because these games have little educational value and many harmful effects. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #games #children #ages #nationalities #parents #value #effects
In recent years, computer games are very widely used by children, internationally.
This
 trend is becoming a concern for parents because they think that gaming infects the younger generation with some detrimental problems like weakening eyesight and sedentary habits. In
this
 essay, I am going to explain why I agree with them. In the
first
 instance, younger children are experiencing increasing levels of vision problems.
For example
, they are viewing the computer screen for an average of two hours per day and the light from the screen is affecting their ability to see clearly. If the situation is not corrected, more and more children will have to wear prescription glasses.
Secondly
, when youngsters sit for an average of two hours before a computer, it means that they don't have enough time to be physically active in games and sports. So,
this
 could result in health problems like overweight, lack of fitness, muscular weakness etc. which in turn will impact their holistic development and make them misfits in their social interactions. To conclude, with all of the examples that I have listed above, I agree that the thoughts of the elders are founded in truth.
Hence
, parents will have to find ways of motivating their offspring to combine gaming with sports and interactions with friends at least for half an hour a day to break the habit. The government can support parents' initiatives by taxing gaming software and hardware
thus
 making it tougher for users to access online games.
On the other hand
, they can award initiatives that promote outdoor activities among youngsters.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: