Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all the people can live together harmoniously?

Different individuals
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the freedom to choose their dwelling place in accordance
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
their preferences in life.
However
, peace and order in society must
be totally maintain
Change the verb form
be totally maintained
show examples
for the residents to have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
state of harmony.
Firstly
, the government must impose and implement
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
and regulations
such
as respecting each other in
such
a way they could be responsible enough to obtain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
camaraderie
likewise
the harmonious
relatinship
Correct your spelling
relationship
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
all.
For instance
, if other city dwellers are sleeping especially at night; others must respect the silence so that in return those
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
of politeness will come back to them as well.
Thus
, respect begets respect in any
forms
Fix the agreement mistake
form
show examples
of gesture that each
members
Change to a singular noun
member
show examples
of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
are
inacting
Correct your spelling
enacting
in acting
.
Secondly
,
occasional
Add an article
the occasional
an occasional
show examples
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
must be conducted
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
each vicinity so that
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
will get to know the neighbourhood.
For example
, a gathering in the country club by Japanese, Korean, American, and Canadian in the host country will
such
Add a missing verb
be such
show examples
a great way to have an excellent rapport
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
everyone.
Hence
, all residents will grasp a profound knowledge with regard
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different norms, cultures, and social customs that they could utilize on how to treat each other to stabilize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace and harmonious living.
Finally
, to maintain the peace and order of a community; police officers or security guards must be posted to each cosmopolitan
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
show examples
so that everyone is aware that safety and security
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
well maintained.
Consequently
, all
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
residing in common areas will feel the
tranquility
Change the spelling
tranquillity
show examples
of the place.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
this
is the crucial way of achieving the optimum level of harmony. In summary, different nationals can live together despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
individual differences as long as harmony is present all the time.
However
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
must be upfront in implementing specific regulations to maintain
harmonious
Add an article
a harmonious
show examples
living.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: