IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write about the following topic: Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

#topic #people #clothes #case
It is a common belief that many individuals have a tendency to wear fashionable
clothes
 has
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 negative effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 society.
However
, I firmly believe that these things
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a good thing because it helps
people
 express their personal identity. The main cause of
people
 like to wear fashionable
clothes
 is that
people
 want attention from other
people
. Fashionable
clothes
 usually
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
 easily
catching
Wrong verb form
catch
show examples
othe
Correct your spelling
other
the
people
's eyes. Famous
people
 are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who generally
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
 trending
clothes
 and it helps them to be always glamorous in front of the public.
However
, not just celebrities want to
wearing
Change the verb form
wear
show examples
 trending
clothes
, young generations or even the elder
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
also
 want to
catching
Change the verb form
catch
show examples
 the attention
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their friends. Almost
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not
wearing
Change the verb form
wear
show examples
 fashionable
clothes
 because they do not know how to
styling
Change the form of the verb
style
show examples
 their looks, not because they do not want. According to a
reccent
Correct your spelling
recent
 survey, 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
responder
Replace the word
respondents
show examples
 answered that they wear fashionable
clothes
 to be more vibrant in front of everyone. But when they
at
Add a missing verb
are at
show examples
 home or alone,
people
 who
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
 trending looks decline
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
demonstrate
Wrong verb form
demonstrating
show examples
 how appearance in public places
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important to a person. Overall, I think that
this
 is a good thing because
people
 have their own right to express their personal
identity
Fix the agreement mistake
identities
show examples
. A look of a
people
 generally shows their characteristics.
In addition
, showing how they treat
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
.
This
 is a good thing because individuals have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to express their characteristics in an undirectly way. A study in the USA has research
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a group of
people
 that usually
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
 fashionable
clothes
 why they wear in that way. 95
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
 chose that because they want
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
know
Add the particle
to know
show examples
 more about their personality, which is a really high figure in a normal survey. To sum up, it is clear that
people
 wear fashionable
clothes
 to
catching
Wrong verb form
catch
show examples
 attention.
However
, it is evident that
this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 good for the community because they have their own right to express their personal identity.
Submitted by nguyenanhngocphan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: