IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money money on other things to benefit the nation . To what extent do you agree or disagree

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation
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Exploration is good but not
on
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in
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space
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, I find it
unneccessary
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unnecessary
 and costly. Many governments have a budget for
space
Use synonyms
 exploration. As in my personal opinion, there are so many things that need the attention of
money
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 and as a point of view I find it disturbing to learn that millions of dollars are spent each year exploring the
space
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,
hence
Linking Words
 I would
priotise
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prioritise
 using
money
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 on projects that are more beneficiary to the rest of the people, like giving hundred
percent
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per cent
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 free education to university level, hundred
percent
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per cent
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 free health care to
every one
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everyone
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 including hospital plans and surgeries.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree
on
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with
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 using
money
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 on other things. The
space
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 has been visited a couple of times
from
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since
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 the days of Neil Armstrong and
i
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I
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 believe because of that, there
hasbeen
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has been
 disturbances in the atmosphere causing environmental damage. Effects of global warming in a negative way have been experienced.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 I suspect that because of the negative effects of environmental disturbances that's one of the reasons the world is experiencing unexplainable and uncurable diseases. Some
reserches
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researchers
researches
believes
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believe
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 that diseases like skin cancers and eye cancers are caused by the
nrgative
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negative
 effects of global warming,
hence
Linking Words
 I say more
money
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 should be invested in people's health
,
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apply
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 so that those who need Chemotherapy can have direct access to it for free. Major surgeries that are of high
costs
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cost
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 should
also
Linking Words
 be free to its citizens. In conclusion, I say
space
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exploring
Replace the word
exploration
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 should be stopped and that
money
Use synonyms
 should be diverted for other use.
Submitted by gorerazaeasther on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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