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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #future
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Physical
Add an article
The physical
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wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 of a person is one of the most important things in his
live
Replace the word
life
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. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that the overall standard of
health
Use synonyms
 of the population will decrease in the
future
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. Many arguments for and against
this
Linking Words
 position may be found, but in
general
Add a comma
,general
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 I do not agree with
this
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 position. A
lot
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 of different factors in the modern and
future
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 world may negatively affect the
health
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 of
people
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.
For example
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, a variety of different
snaks
Correct your spelling
snacks
snakes
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
. Perhaps, the percentage of unhealthy food in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
 will increase in the
future
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, causing existing
health
Use synonyms
 problems to become even more common. Another cause may be the amount of time
people
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 sleep. Working long hours and using addictive mobile devices before bed are already some big threats
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 someone's sleep.
This
Linking Words
 trend will only get worse in the
future
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, resulting in more insomnias and
depressions
Fix the agreement mistake
depression
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
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future
Correct article usage
the future
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 world means
future
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 technologies, and medicine is not an exception.
Rapid
Add an article
The rapid
show examples
 growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science in the
last
Linking Words
 50 years already prolonged our lives by over 10 years, and probably
this
Linking Words
 process will continue in the
future
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.
People
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 with different
desiases
Correct your spelling
diseases
, that were seen as mortal in the past, can live normal lives now. We still do not know how to fight cancer and a
lot
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 of other illnesses, but it definitely will change in the
future
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. Of
cource
Correct your spelling
course
, the
future
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 will bring a
lot
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 of new challenges for our
health
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, and a
lot
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 of existing problems will only get worse. But at the same time, modern and
future
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 technologies will help humanity to live longer and better. I think that the average level of
people
Use synonyms
's
health
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 will only increase in the upcoming years.
Submitted by peltorator on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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