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Band 4.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #future
Physical
Add an article
The physical
show examples
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 of a person is one of the most important things in his
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. Some
people
 say that the overall standard of
health
 of the population will decrease in the
future
. Many arguments for and against
this
 position may be found, but in
general
Add a comma
,general
show examples
 I do not agree with
this
 position. A
lot
 of different factors in the modern and
future
 world may negatively affect the
health
 of
people
.
For example
, a variety of different
snaks
Correct your spelling
snacks
snakes
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
. Perhaps, the percentage of unhealthy food in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
's
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
 will increase in the
future
, causing existing
health
 problems to become even more common. Another cause may be the amount of time
people
 sleep. Working long hours and using addictive mobile devices before bed are already some big threats
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 someone's sleep.
This
 trend will only get worse in the
future
, resulting in more insomnias and
depressions
Fix the agreement mistake
depression
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 world means
future
 technologies, and medicine is not an exception.
Rapid
Add an article
The rapid
show examples
 growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science in the
last
 50 years already prolonged our lives by over 10 years, and probably
this
 process will continue in the
future
.
People
 with different
desiases
Correct your spelling
diseases
, that were seen as mortal in the past, can live normal lives now. We still do not know how to fight cancer and a
lot
 of other illnesses, but it definitely will change in the
future
. Of
cource
Correct your spelling
course
, the
future
 will bring a
lot
 of new challenges for our
health
, and a
lot
 of existing problems will only get worse. But at the same time, modern and
future
 technologies will help humanity to live longer and better. I think that the average level of
people
's
health
 will only increase in the upcoming years.
Submitted by peltorator on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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