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Band 5.5

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #adults #parents #college #university #job #outweigh
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In many countries, living with their
parents
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 after finishing college,
university
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or university
show examples
 and having no trouble landing a job is the preference of many
adults
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 nowadays.
Although
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 the living expenses in the family can be shared, I believe that there are more drawbacks
due to
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 the growing independence of children. On the one hand, living under the same roof can help young
people
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 share their living expenses.
While
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adults
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 can pay the bills, other members of the family can pay for the expenditure of garments or supplies in the house. The financial burden carried solely by
adults
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 is no longer a problem
that is
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 now solved by family members.
This
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also
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 will likely help to cement relationships among members and
adults
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 can save some money for
further
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 purposes
such
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 as investment or their interests.
On the other hand
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, I firmly opine that there are more detrimental aspects for those who do not live independently.
Firstly
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, the children in the family can not be self-reliant. Indeed, a child who does not have to do the household chores and relies on
parents
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 is likely to form bad habits which can later be an obstacle for them when they move out.
Secondly
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, another main problem is the private space of young
people
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 when turning into puberty age. Many teenagers need privacy,
time
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and time
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 for themselves, and living with
parents
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 can make them feel uncomfortable, which leads to difficulties when they move out in the future. In conclusion, there are more demerits for
people
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 living with their
parents
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 after completing their studies. In my opinion, young
people
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 should move out when they are 18 and be fully responsible for their lives at
this
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 age.
Submitted by quangtrainer1 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure. Try to organize your ideas in a more logical manner with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt. In this case, you could have discussed more advantages of living with parents or presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in more detail.
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