In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

In many countries, living with their
parents
after finishing college,
university
Correct word choice
or university
show examples
and having no trouble landing a job is the preference of many
adults
nowadays.
Although
the living expenses in the family can be shared, I believe that there are more drawbacks
due to
the growing independence of children. On the one hand, living under the same roof can help young
people
share their living expenses.
While
adults
can pay the bills, other members of the family can pay for the expenditure of garments or supplies in the house. The financial burden carried solely by
adults
is no longer a problem
that is
now solved by family members.
This
also
will likely help to cement relationships among members and
adults
can save some money for
further
purposes
such
as investment or their interests.
On the other hand
, I firmly opine that there are more detrimental aspects for those who do not live independently.
Firstly
, the children in the family can not be self-reliant. Indeed, a child who does not have to do the household chores and relies on
parents
is likely to form bad habits which can later be an obstacle for them when they move out.
Secondly
, another main problem is the private space of young
people
when turning into puberty age. Many teenagers need privacy,
time
Correct word choice
and time
show examples
for themselves, and living with
parents
can make them feel uncomfortable, which leads to difficulties when they move out in the future. In conclusion, there are more demerits for
people
living with their
parents
after completing their studies. In my opinion, young
people
should move out when they are 18 and be fully responsible for their lives at
this
age.
Submitted by quangtrainer1 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure. Try to organize your ideas in a more logical manner with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt. In this case, you could have discussed more advantages of living with parents or presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in more detail.

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