In some cultures,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvages of giving children this message?

This
discussion topic is some
childen
Correct your spelling
children
often told they try more hard in order to
acomplish
Correct your spelling
accomplish
anything. I have a disagree
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, but two
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
statements. At the
first
,
this
message has
probability
Add an article
the probability
a probability
show examples
to pressure
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
. It is important to attempt and overcome something, but I don'
t
have to do it if I don'
t
want to do
things
so much.
For example
, hypothesis even though my suffering subject is
mathmathics
Correct your spelling
mathematics
, so I study a lot it for a long time to examination, I can'
t
get
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
score
then
thus
I decline of my motivation and confidence.
This
is because we expect too much to get
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
.
On the contrary
,
this
message will be
likelihood
Replace the word
likely
show examples
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
point. If it is
success
Correct article usage
a success
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as I said the situation, not only childrens' encouragement will prompt but
also
we can get confidence.
Also
, it can connect that
children
might want to try more other
things
.
In addition
,
children
will customary to stand something and some situations due to
expreiences
Correct your spelling
experiences
of suffering. I reckon some people who avoid
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
things
from childhood can'
t
endure and early give up of
socail
Correct your spelling
social
environment.
This
is why they don'
t
have
resistant
Replace the word
resistance
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
hardship
things
personality,
therefore
I have to acquire it
skill
Change the verb form
skills
show examples
in order to adapt in the future.
Consequently
, we have to adjust using
this
message to
children
,
also
we should do to compliment and encourage them with
this
sentence.
Submitted by nanarth0814773 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: