Public celebrations (festivals, national day) are held in some countries. Some people think that they are very expensive and the government should spend money on some other important issues. Do you agree or disagree?
It is well known that
some
Many governments of the world are very eager to spend much expenditure for the sake of festivals. Fix the agreement mistake
apply
Hence
, some believe that this
activity comes to no benefit to the other has arguments. I strongly agree with this
and I elaborate on this
in the ensuing paragraphs.
On one hand, The main benefit of the government encouraging celebrations of that kind of red-letter day increases the patriotic mentality of their country. It not only helps the crowd with refurbishment but also
enriches social mentality. All denominations of the realm get together and most of the time young inhabitants are able to know their past glory, achievements, history, and many more by participating in seminars which are arranged by the administration of the kingdom.
In stark contrast, The major disadvantage of the festive is that a huge amount of funds are spent without any purpose. It is clearly seen, most of the time, that some leaders used to embezzle capital. Apart from
this
, they expend the payment haphazardly. Secondly
, The way they lay out cash, doesn't improve the condition of poor people or their health condition. For instance
, 16'th
December is the victory day of Bangladesh. On that day, the Whole country was decorated with so many lights which cost a billion Correct your spelling
16th
bill
. Not only that, the whole country arranges so many programs which Fix the agreement mistake
bills
is
not the cause for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
community's
happiness in a single side of necessity.
Correct article usage
the community's
To conclude
, The demands for public celebration need huge funds. I think authorities need to spend the salary in an economical way by thinking about the future of ordinary families.Submitted by M.L.A on
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task achievement
The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure to directly mention whether you agree or disagree and briefly state your main reasons.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and directly relevant examples to support your ideas. This will help in clarifying your arguments and making them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by clearly outlining a main idea in each paragraph. Use topic sentences effectively to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all parts of the essay connect smoothly with transitional phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, which frames the discussion clearly.
task achievement
You have attempted to address multiple sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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