IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that it is, therefore, important to spend money researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #planets #think #money
It is argued that
space
exploration
 could be the only way to escape human extinction in case living conditions become unsustainable here on Earth. To my mind, it is crucial to invest in
space
 research because beyond providing survival beyond Earth, it comes with knowledge generation, technological advancements, and a significant number of employment opportunities. When facing unforeseen catastrophes- natural disasters, pandemics, massive eruptions, there should always be a plan B for humanity like establishing colonies on other celestial bodies, most probably on Mars, in which
space
exploration
 can be a lifeline. Discovering new habitable extraterrestrial environments not only
does it
Verb problem
apply
show examples
expand
Correct subject-verb agreement
expands
show examples
 our understanding of life but
also
 offers a potential refuge for humanity. Even though definitive proof that livable zones exist has not yet been found, telltale signs of life
such
 as water
vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
show examples
, dimethyl sulfide, and carbon dioxide in exoplanet atmospheres are gradually being uncovered, meaning there is always hope.
Space
 missions are
also
 gateways for yielding profound scientific knowledge, from understanding planetary geology to
unraveling
Change the spelling
unravelling
show examples
 the mysteries of distant galaxies, expanding our understanding of the universe.
Moreover
, the technologies developed for
space
 operations, including satellite communication, weather forecasting, and medical imaging are being put into practical applications day-by-day.
Space
exploration
 is not only pushing the boundaries of human knowledge but
also
 creating diverse jobs across disciplines- engineering, astrophysics, and planetary science,
therefore
 supporting
livelihoods
Correct article usage
the livelihoods
show examples
 of many.
According to
 Apollo Mission data, over 400,000 people from various expertise were employed for one
space
 operation. In conclusion,
while
 ongoing
space
 missions are yielding significant scientific insights and practical technological applications, the discovery of habitable environments could one day provide shelter for humanity.
Therefore
, it is essential to invest in
space
exploration
 to sustain life for generations to come.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task achievement, providing more specific and detailed examples can enrich the essay. For example, mentioning specific missions or technologies derived from space exploration can add depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to strengthen coherence. This might involve using more connective phrases to guide the reader through your points seamlessly.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic, with logical arguments for investing in space exploration.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a strong framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with logical explanations, making the arguments convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!