Some people get into debt by buying things they don`t need and can`t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don`t #can`t #behavior #action

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My friend Peter owns a lot of useless and expensive goods at home. These products make him into trouble as he gets into debt. In modern days, more and more

people

Use synonyms

are in the same situation. Why does it happen? How can we resolve

such

Linking Words

a problem? I will offer my answer in the following. Today's world is a highly capitalized one, and

this

Linking Words

environment causes

people

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to fall into the mentioned predicament. In

this

Linking Words

capitalized society, rich

people

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are always be admired. And

hence

Linking Words

owning luxury products,

such

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as LV bags or Ferrari cars, has become a self-identity, which represents that you are in the top class of society. In

this

Linking Words

way, many

people

Use synonyms

still purchase unnecessary expensive products even if they are not really rich and cannot afford them, since they want to make themselves look like rich guys, top-class

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

unreal self-identity gives them satisfaction and happiness. I suggest two ways to address

this

Linking Words

issue. The

first

Linking Words

is for the government. The government may impose more restrictions on the banks, not allowing them to provide loans to their customers easily. Only clients with reasonable purposes can borrow a large amount of money from the banks. And borrowing money to buy unaffordable luxury goods is not a reasonable one. The

second

Linking Words

is by education. School teachers and parents should help teenagers build up a correct attitude. Whether you are a rich businessman or an average working class, you will be admired and praised by others once you pay your heart to your business or job. It is unnecessary to make happiness from buying luxury goods. In conclusion, I argue that many

people

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are affected by the capitalized atmosphere. They wish to have an unreal self-identity by buying expensive things. To prevent

people

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from taking

such

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an action, I suggest governments impose regulations on the banks.

In addition

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, helping

people

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build up correct value judgment through education is crucial.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Some people get into debt by buying things they don`t need and can`t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The most important consideration while selecting a job or career has a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interest and whether they are marries od single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Other disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.