Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development？

#countries #success #facilities #train #athletes #sports #development？

It is generally acknowledged by some individuals that some

countries

gain global success by investing in buildings and equipment for certain

sports

stars rather than the public. Regarding

this

, I strongly believe that it is a negative trend as they neglect inhabitants' health. On the one hand, it is a key factor in increasing the

reporation

Correct your spelling

reparation

countries

by supporting

sports

equipment and buildings

Change preposition

for

show examples

sports

players.

In other words

, they can enhance the reputation of their

countries

as they represent their nations. When famous

asthlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

get a win

from

Change preposition

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

international competition, it enhances the image of their

countries

For example

, recent media in Korea reports that Yuna Kim who has been supported by the

Korean

government

and became a successful figure skater has increased the

Korean

reputation. It has priceless worth. As the example clearly illustrates, if it had not been for

supporting

Replace the word

support

show examples

Change preposition

from

show examples

the

Korean

government

, the reputation of Korea would have not been increased like at present.

On the other hand

, governments should spend

state-funds

Correct your spelling

state funds

show examples

making

facilities

for the public

Add the comma(s)

show examples

not for

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

person

Change to a plural noun

people

show examples

. While governments have a responsibility to improve public

service

Change the noun form

services

show examples

such

as education, health, and

trasportation

Correct your spelling

transportation

, the population has

Correct article usage

the

show examples

authority to

use

various

facilities

. As each citizen is a tax player,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should consider citizens which is justifiable.

For example

, a survey conducted by the

Korean

government

has revealed that almost 20% of inhabitants prefer to

use

state-funding

Correct your spelling

state funding

show examples

on public

facilities

rather than supporting some top

asthlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

Hence

, it is reasonable to point out that taxpayers hope governments

use

their taxes for themselves. In conclusion, while I accept that supporting

sports

stars can sometimes be necessary, there is no doubt to point out that taxpayers deserve

their

Change the word

the

show examples

rights

Fix the agreement mistake

right

show examples

use

various

exercising

Replace the word

exercise

show examples

facilities

Submitted by hiasince38 on Sat Apr 02 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development？

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, families are not as close as they used to be What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make family close?

Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, people are able to use the internet to do an increasing number of tasks. Is this a positive or negative development?

Most employers do job interviews before offering a position to a person. Do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? What is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?