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Band 5

Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #country #health #service #treatments
The government of various nations owes the citizens a duty to provide substantial
health
 care services for free.
Although
 some may argue, I am in total support of
this
 view.
This
 essay will provide detailed reasons why countries should aid the people with free medical treatments.
Firstly
,
health
 is wealth and a fundamental inalienable right of all persons. With
this
 in mind, everyone is entitled to a healthy life which can be achieved through
provision
Add an article
the provision
show examples
 of primary healthcare services for free. By so doing, poor masses will get medical attention and be treated
accordingly
 without worrying about how to pay bills. A healthy society is productive and
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 immensely to economical and social growth .
However
, if the populace cannot get basic medical
treatment
, an epidemic may erupt which in turn will cost political administrators
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of money to eradicate .
For example
, glaucoma, cataract and blurry vision can cause eye blindness but
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 diagnosis can prevent it.
Moreover
,
size
Correct article usage
the size
show examples
,
amenities
Correct word choice
and amenities
show examples
 of healthcare may vary from country to country depending on their capabilities.
In addition
, modern
treatment
 might not be available due to
exorbitant
Correct article usage
the exorbitant
show examples
 rate. Despite
this
, saving
Add an article
a
show examples
life with basic therapy cannot be overemphasized.
Therefore
,
provision
Fix the agreement mistake
provisions
show examples
 should be made for costly dialysis, surgery and
treatment
 for the impoverished, whilst average citizens pay for
such
 expensive medicine.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, on the other hand,
show examples
on the other hand
 will generate revenues from
Add an article
the payment
a payment
show examples
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 made to aid
less privileged
Add a hyphen
less-privileged
show examples
 people
attaining
Change preposition
in attaining
show examples
 better
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 goals. In conclusion,
health
 is paramount to all and sundry. Regardless of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
treatment
, each country should furnish citizens with free medical
health
 care services to reduce
widespread
Correct article usage
the widespread
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
diseases and sicknesses that can plague a nation.
Submitted by stefneybonomi on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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