IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

#television #children #two #five
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Undoubtedly the promotions for selling goods by big brands enmeshed the
mind
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 of young children. I agree
to
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with
show examples
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
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 that
such
Linking Words
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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 should be blocked.
This
Linking Words
 essay will highlight numerous plausible reasons for the opinion. The advertisement of junk foods is prevalent these days on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital media like television. As the immature
mind
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don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
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 have enough knowledge to comprehend the pros and cons of
such
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 advertisements. Regular consumption of high calories food leads to obesity which is
very
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a very
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 common issue these days, which is
cause
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the cause
a cause
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of
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apply
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various types of health
complication
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complications
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 in future. It has been observed that the stamina of
student
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students
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 is going down regularly as the main components like iron and vitamins are missing from their daily diet.
Moreover
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, the promotions targeting young
children’s
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children
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 take
help
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the help
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 of their
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superhero
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super hero
Correct your spelling
superhero
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 characters like superman or spiderman which have no near connection with reality.
As a result
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, it has no benefits or
add
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adds
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 any value to
development
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the development
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 of children.
Furthermore
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, it has
negative
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a negative
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 effect on the
mind
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 of the youngsters. One kid trying to impersonate Spiderman jumped from the roof and broke his legs and these types of incidents are eyeopener to resemble the state of
mind
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 children today have. In essence, promotions for products are misleading and
adolescent
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adolescents
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 are unable to differentiate between reality and fictional things
is
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are
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 having
catastrophic
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a catastrophic
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 effect on
the
Change the word
their
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mind
Use synonyms
 of them. So, they should be banned immediately.
Submitted by contactmanmeet on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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