thw two pie charts show online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

#thw #two #show #sales #sectors #canada

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The given two pie charts depict the

selling

Replace the word

sales

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of five distinct goods in the markets in Canada from 2005 to 2010. After

analyzing

Replace the word

analysis

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it can be seen clearly that the sale of electronics &

appliance

Fix the agreement mistake

appliances

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were 35% which was highly purchased of these gadgets in

the

Change the article

apply

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2005, but it experienced

decline

Add an article

a decline

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with

the

Correct article usage

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5% margin after 5 years.

In contrast

Linking Words

, shopkeepers sold 18%

video

Change preposition

of video

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games in the former

year

Use synonyms

, and they gained popularity in the latter

year

Use synonyms

, reached

Remove the preposition

apply

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23%.

However

Linking Words

, one-fifth

home

Change preposition

of home

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furnishings had been bought by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Canadian citizen in the initial

year

Use synonyms

Further

Linking Words

pie charts collate that the percentage of food & beverage sales was 22% and 32% in 2005 and 2010.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, more than one in ten home furnishings were afforded by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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Canada and it was the least famous choice in the

last

Linking Words

year

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

, maximum marketing of electronics & appliance had witnessed in the first

year

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

same goods came

Change preposition

show examples

the

second

Linking Words

position for selling in the

second

Linking Words

yea

Correct your spelling

year

show examples

Submitted by lovepreetkaur2725 on Sun Apr 03 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

171 words

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thw two pie charts show online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Everybody should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People today are suffering more and more stress related problems than in the past. What is the cause of this? What are the possible effects of this development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with colleague?