Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities

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It is considered that living in the countryside gives access to a healthy style of living.

While

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others think, that urban have more healthy life advantages.

This

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essay will discuss the self-sufficient behaviour in the rural areas;

the

Correct word choice

and the

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decreased level of services and facilities, which are the benefits of cities. In my view, I believe that people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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living in both cities and villages can have an opportunity for well-being. On the one hand, the public

have

Change the verb form

has

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Remove the article

apply

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access to the extended lands,

beauties

Correct article usage

the beauties

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of nature and fresh air. They can have a

self-sufficiency

Replace the word

self-sufficient

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life when he/she can grow their own green foods. The level of pollution is low and the job -market does not need to be competitive in the countryside.

In other words

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, living in the countryside makes an individual have a slow-paced natural behaviour, eating greenery products,

breathing

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and breathing

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clear air without any depression because of the job.

For example

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, the society living in the villages of Shymkent is less threatened by physical and mental health-related illnesses.

On the other hand

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, it is clearly seen that the centre has high accessibility to the apparatus and health services. The population can exercise in the gyms and yoga centres, and find other communities with common interests; the metropolis has fast ambulances and excessive levels of healthcare.

For instance

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, livelihood in Nur-Sultan allows the most progressive healthcare system treatments and there are new startups in the sports facilities.

Therefore

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, living in the city can propose mental and physical balance. In conclusion,

this

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argument has discussed both types of lifestyle in the villages and the towns as natural and slow lifestyle and healthcare/apparatus advantages. I partially agree with the statement and consider that a rural self-sufficient lifestyle has more benefits,

however

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, I live in the city which is why believe that it could be possible to follow healthy living in the urban.

Submitted by amanakbota23 on Sun Apr 03 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is well-organized with a clear topic sentence and supporting details to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Task Achievement

Ensure to address all parts of the essay prompt with detailed explanations and examples to improve task response.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions

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