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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believes that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #punishment
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The rate of crime around the world has been rising over the years, but the way to afront it is wide and complex. In a well-structured society the rate of felonies should be low, but even in the most solid economies felonies are increasing. Meavy before the punishments we have to look into the
causes
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 of the infraction. In most developing ,countries misconduct
causes
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 had to be with poverty
conditions
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, reduced access to health services, education and job opportunities in the most vulnerable sector of society. That could be the reason why some people argue that fixing punishment is more just than a simple one. It´s not the same context who´s can commit a robbery to feed themselves or their family as the banker who's misused the money of their clients to increase his profit no matter what happens to people and he's act is not leading by necessity but avarice The background of each case can show us the relevance of the behaviour and
causes
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 that lead the person to commit a transgression. Implementing punishment without seeing the motivations of each individual can lead to the justice system being unfear of persons in disadvantaged
conditions
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 and increase the inequality in society. Every justice system is perfectible, it must be adapted to actual
conditions
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 of the community and we have to pay attention to the original
causes
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 of undesired
conditions
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 to avoid faults in our environment and prevent
instead
Linking Words
 punish human behaviours than
otherwise
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 be avoided. Better job
pportunities
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opportunities
 and education
most
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must
show examples
 be
an important actions
Correct the article-noun agreement
an important action
important actions
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 to take.
Submitted by felipealejandromolina on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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