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Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #adults #parents #college #university #job #outweigh
It is common these days for the young generation in many countries to stay under the same roof with
parents
 from finishing higher education or having jobs. The trend can bring some immediate benefits
such
 as feeling cared for and sharing financial responsibility;
however
, I am convinced that it is more likely to have more drawbacks for their lives. The reasons for
this
 trend may involve the care that
parents
 always spend on their kids. Youngsters often focus on hobbies or workload
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 ignore health.
Then
 the
parents
 often are the ones who care by reminding or giving advice about attaching importance to health.
In addition
, the financial burden can be solved by sharing it with family members. Because of
this
 contribution, the budget for household expenses
would not be no
Rewrite the sentence
would not be any
would be no
show examples
 longer as large as they settle down on their own.
However
, there are certainly dangers of a joint family. The young generation may end up lacking problem-solving capacity. Problems in daily life
such
 as family conflicts, economic obstacles, etcetera which is perfect chance to apply soft skills or learn about general knowledge for these children are all solved by their
parents
.
As a result
, they cannot handle these issues in the absence of nurturers.
Besides
, living with
parents
 makes them lose their independence. When difficulties come,
instead
 of learning how to deal with bad things and take responsibility for decisions, they hide under the protection of their family. In conclusion, despite the beneficial aspects of
this
 lifestyle in the modern world, my view is that students who graduate or have jobs should be encouraged to go out and be independent.
That is
 the optimal way to build up their independence and problem-solving ability.
Submitted by hoangthanhnam.dav on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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