Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?
Quite contrary to the conventional custom that absorbs the majority of pupils to schools
for pursuing
their Change preposition
to pursue
studying
,some guardians prefer their children to follow their pedagogical plans at home.Fix the agreement mistake
studies
However
,in my point of view, the benefits of attending classrooms surpass in various aspects.Nevertheless
,both sides are uttered here.
One of the most highlighted positive footprints of going to school has to do with individuals' social abilities, which would increase drastically if they are
in touch with both other students and teachers as well.As a vivid case,not only plays a critical role in their psychological health but they would not encounter problems interacting with other people in their subsequent lives.Wrong verb form
were
Furthermore
,owing to the knowledgeable trainers that exist at educational centres,neither their talents nor their energy would be squandered.For instance
,the authorities of schools will detect the probable shortcomings that pupils may suffer from,as they have adequate experience in this
realm.
On the other hand
, juveniles' concentration is a worth mentioning factor in their prosperity in education.To enlighten,not only would not they be interrupted by their classmates but also
the risk of getting involved with adverse activities would decrease sharply.To illustrate,they won't be absorbed in smoking with their friend if they are not in touch with them.Moreover
,it is necessary for restricting
the spread of viruses in emergency situations.Change preposition
to restrict
For example
,in the last
three years,the domination of covid19
has forced all the countries to lock down their schools and provide required infrastructures for folks to attend their classes from their homes.
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
To conclude
,while
some affirmative aspects can be considered regarding studying at home,such
as prohibiting either the spread of diseases or being misled by palls,to me,its dire consequences outweigh.As a result
,the youngster may do
not get mature enough if do not communicate with others.Unnecessary verb
apply
Submitted by drpnima on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits and drawbacks of homeschooling versus traditional schooling. However, more focus on presenting a clear stance and providing specific examples to support the arguments would enhance the task response.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on structuring the essay with a proper introduction that states the position clearly and a conclusion that summarizes the main points. Additionally, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve cohesion and coherence.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!