In recent years there has been a considerable rise in crime committed by young people in large cities. What has caused this? What solution can you suggest?

#years #rise #crime #people #cities

this

modern era,

level

Correct article usage

the level

show examples

crime

is increasing day by day in some nations.

Change preposition

Last

show examples

last

year's

crime

rate

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

rapidly

Change preposition

among

show examples

youth

generations who live in large cities.

This

essay

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

some reason as well as some solution which I will discuss in

upcoming

Correct article usage

the upcoming

show examples

paragraphswith

Correct your spelling

paragraphs with

paragraph with

suitable example. Beginning

withe

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

the causes which produce

crime

rate

youngster

Add an article

the youngster

a youngster

show examples

Firstly

youth

Correct article usage

the youth

show examples

generation

divert

Change the verb form

diverts

show examples

from

influence

Wrong verb form

influenced

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
70Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In recent years there has been a considerable rise in crime committed by young people in large cities. What has caused this? What solution can you suggest?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Organizing tours to promote places and communities is becoming more and more popularity. Is it positive or negative development for the local people and environment？

University education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. To what extent do you agree with these views?