IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that children who spend alot of time reading children's story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #alot #time #story #books #activities
Every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 likes to read comic
books
,But it is considered by many that the pupil should not read a
lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
show examples
 of
storybookbook
Correct your spelling
storybook book
,it is waste of time.
Instead
 of
Add an article
the book
a book
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
book
Add a comma
,book
show examples
 they should do some
advanture
Correct your spelling
adventure
 activities.I disagree with the notion
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a large extent,my viewpoint will be elaborated
further
.
To begin
 with, there are many merits of reading,the foremost one is reading a
story
books
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early age will improve a child"s
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
 ability.To
explaint
Correct your spelling
explain
 it,regarding it they can learn a new vocabulary ,new words,
also
 improve reading speed.Stduent can improve grammer skill.
Moreover
,reading makes them a good
decision
Add a hyphen
decision-maker
show examples
maker
Fix the agreement mistake
makers
show examples
 as well as gives a lot of knowledge.
For example
, the famous writer Luis mark had read
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thousands of
books
 in childhood after that he becomes a good writer.
Furthermore
,
Correct article usage
a story
show examples
story
Correct your spelling
storybook
show examples
book
 gives
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace of mind. Explicate it,after
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
 day studying subjects
such
 as science,history as well as math they get tired.
Hence
,comic
books
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 them
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 and fresh.
For instance
, a majority of pupils have found that comic
books
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 them more happiness rather than an outdoor activity.
On the other hand
,it has some demerits.
Firstly
 if a child does not know the proper reading method and put
book
 near eyes it might be damage eyes and
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
 of glasses.
Also
, the result
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 affected by
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
too much reading,if they would put all times on
story
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 they cannot put focus on school subjects.
For instance
,
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
 was revealed in past 60% of
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 are
spendig
Correct your spelling
spending
 more 5 hours on reading comedy
books
 they get
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 marks in exams. To sum up, many people find it
story
Correct your spelling
storybook
show examples
book
 is not
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
good for students,it can take.But I largely believe that it is the best way to get relax
as a result
, it gives lots of knowledge,vocabulary,
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
 skill.
Submitted by Farhanamodi28 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: