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Band 5.5

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree.

#countries #smoke #places #people
In the contemporary era, in
various
Add an article
the various
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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nation
Add a comma
,nation
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 higher authorities make some strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 like smoking is prohibited in public
areas
. They give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instructions to people,
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 they want to smoke, they should leave the particular area or building. I accord with
this
 assertion and I elaborate
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it in the forthcoming paragraph. To initiate, smoking in the public put
various
Add an article
a various
the various
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 detrimental effect on the
health
 of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
create
the
Correct article usage
apply
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passive smokers, a
person
 who does not smoke, but
standing
Wrong verb form
stand
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 near the smoker.
For example
, if a group of ten
person's
Change the noun form
people
person
show examples
 is doing their work together and one
person
 among
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 started exhaling nicotine
then
 it will
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 4-
5
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to 5
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persons same as the
person
 who is exhaling it. It will create lung infection and low immunity level, which has
darkonion
Correct your spelling
dark onion
 effects on
health
.
Moreover
, if smoking is prohibited in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places or allowed in some
areas
such
 as smoking rooms which are
built
Add a hyphen
built-in
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
near
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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building,
so that
Correct word choice
apply
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if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to smoke or face
craving
Correct article usage
a craving
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it
then
 he or she can enable nicotine by sitting
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
 particular area.
This
 can be beneficial for
Correct article usage
a non-
show examples
non-
Correct your spelling
non-smoker
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smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
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person
. And they
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not face any kind of
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 issues, which are happened due to
exhale
Change the verb form
exhaling
show examples
 of nicotine.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
show examples
 to
this
, children try the same things, which are done by people in front of them like smoking. To sum up, smoking should be prohibited in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
areas
, because it has detrimental effects on
health
 as well as doing it in public
areas
influenced
Replace the word
influences
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children to do it.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
What to do next:
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