IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

#people #background #cities #work #consequences #offer
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It is
irrefeutable
Correct your spelling
irrefutable
 that myriads of individuals from
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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 are relocating
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 urban
areas
Use synonyms
 to have better
job
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opportunities
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.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it is causing
Correct your spelling
detrimental
detremental
Correct article usage
a detremental
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 effect on
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 environment
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 of migrants is soared exponentially
Therefore
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 due to
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of basic amenities and
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 crime rate will
also
Linking Words
 increase.
This
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 could be resolved by providing basic
neccessities
Correct your spelling
necessities
 and employment in rural
areas
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.
To begin
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 with, the
people
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 moving from
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countryside
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the countryside
show examples
 to the
cities
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 will result in
damaging
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the damaging
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 environment.it has been observed that villagers are attracted by limelights of
cities
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.
Therefore
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,
such
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 fascination leads to relocating from rural to urban
areas
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.
However
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, with
this
Linking Words
,the
infrastucture
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infrastructure
 of
city
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the city
show examples
is deteriorated
Change to the active voice
deteriorates
has deteriorated
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 because the reason
cities
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 are constructed according to the population residing in it,and it becomes difficult to provide
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 for them.
In addition
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 to it,traffic congestion will
also
Linking Words
 hike dramatically,
Consequently
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 which will be the cause
of
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apply
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pollution that would be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 local residents.
Hence
Linking Words
,to plummet the issue basic facilities must be provided to the populace by the prevailing
governement
Correct your spelling
government
.
Furthermore
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,shifting will
also
Linking Words
 cause
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate because finding in
city
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the city
a city
show examples
 in never been easier,there are already heaps of
people
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 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of migrants will
also
Linking Words
 amplify competition among
people
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 due to which it becomes challenging to grab a
job
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 opportunity,
therefore
Linking Words
 the
people
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 will be compelled by the situation to violate
law
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the law
show examples
 for earning bread and butter.In order to overcome
this
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 scenario,more
opportunities
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 apart from agriculture should be generated in the
countryside
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.
This
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 could be possible by building factories and industries in nearby
areas
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 of villages. So,individuals can be appointed ; which would refrain them from relocating
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, According to the survey due to lack of
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
employments
Correct your spelling
employment
show examples
,migrants moving from
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countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 are more likely to move against law in order to earn
living
Add an article
a living
show examples
 which ultimately leads them to move behind bars.
Therefore
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 creating
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 will motivate individuals to stay rather
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then
Replace the word
than
show examples
relocating
Wrong verb form
relocate
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. In conclusion,to preserve the environment of
cities
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 and to plummet
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate it is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to provide better employment
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and amenities in the
countryside
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Alvina Muqeet on

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