IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that air travel should be restricted because it cause serious pollution and use up the world fuel resources.to what extent to do agree or disagree

#people #air #travel #pollution #world #fuel #resources
It is often urged that flights should be put to limit to reduce pollution and uses a lot of oil.To a lesser extent, disagree that flights should be put to a limit.
Air
 travel is a mode of
transport
. Nowadays because technology improvement ,people are travelling by
air
.
This
 is because it is a fast mode of
transport
 and it saves time.
Air
 travelling is the only mode of
transport
 that can be used to travel when you are travelling to other continents .Through technological advancement ,gases from
from
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the flight can be reduced depending
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
changethat
Correct your spelling
change that
 oil they use.They can use
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is friendly to the environment.
On the other hand
, I agree to a greater extent
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
air
 travel should be limited because it causes
air
 pollution .The emissions of gases from flights are absorbed by the atmosphere and it causes Global warming .It causes diseases,drought ,water scarcity and extreme heat.
This
 threatens
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
human life.More diseases are created because of
air
 pollution
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, respiratory illness .Extreme heat is
also
 an impact of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change,heat damages crops ,creates diseases and reduces water sources by evaporation.
In contrast
 , they use a lot of fuel resources because it travels long distances. In my opinion ,I think ai
transport
 should be put to a limit because they cause
air
 infection and it is harmful to people's health and to the environment.
However
, it
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 income to the country's economy. In conclusion,departure should be limited to reduce infection and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
save the world's fuel resources.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: