IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #information #research #business #world
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In today's society,
people
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 can find
information
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 easily over the Internet or in the library. Since
people
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 can benefit greatly from
these
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this information
show examples
information
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, some
people
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 suggest that it is wise to share as much
information
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 as possible in scientific
research
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, business and the academic
world
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, while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others hold the opposite view. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think both views have their own points and
i
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I
show examples
 think
information
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 should be shared or not
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on the situation.  Some
information
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 should be shared
to
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with
show examples
 the public as much as possible because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can bring advantages to the majority of
people
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 in the
world
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. Some of the subject matters concern
people
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's life and
wellfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
 and those contents should be known and accepted by the public.
For example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the corona
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corona virus
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coronavirus
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 has
detrimetal
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detrimental
 effects in the
world
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 nowadays. Thousands of
people
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 lost their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life's
 every day after they got infected. Scientists all over the
world
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 are doing
research
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 and finding ways to cure the virus. Any scientific improvement they made or any
information
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 they found would be shared
to
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with
show examples
 the whole
world
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.
This
Linking Words
information
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 and knowledge are valuable and
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
people
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 globally to save their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. So some of the
information
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,
such
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 as those
relate
Change the form of the verb
related
show examples
 to health and education are worth to be shared.
However
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, not every
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information
Correct quantifier usage
piece of information
show examples
 should be shared freely and openly, because it could
may
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apply
show examples
harm
individul
Correct your spelling
individual
 gain. Some scientists or
companys
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companies
 use the results of their
research
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 to earn money. It is not
necessary
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necessarily
show examples
 a bad thing. Some of the great patents in the
world
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 remain in
secrect
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secret
 but still can benefit
people
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's life. Just like a popular restaurant has its
secrect
Correct your spelling
secret
 ingredients to attract large amounts of customers
everyday
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every day
show examples
 and it doesn't have to share the
secrect
Correct your spelling
secret
 to the everyone, because it may affect its profits.
On the contrary
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, if everything
need
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needs
show examples
 to be open to the public, scientists or companies may
lost
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lose
be lost
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 their motivation or interest to do
research
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,
then
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 hardly any improvements could be made. In conclusion, whether
information
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 should be shared
to
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with
show examples
 the whole
world
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 or not need to take the range and effects into consideration. I suggest medical or educational
information
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 could be shared
to
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with
show examples
 the
world
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 while other content that cost no harm can remain
in
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apply
show examples
private.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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