children as a young as eight own a mobile phone nowadays. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

#children #eight #phone #outweigh

It is widespread that many teenagers have smartphones. I do not think that

merits

Correct article usage

the merits

show examples

this

outweigh the drawbacks. The main reason is that

this

trend might be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

youngsters.

As being

Change preposition

Being

show examples

with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

such

device

Change preposition

for more

show examples

than 3 or 4 hours can affect

their

Change the word

the

show examples

brain significantly.

In addition

, there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

plenty of

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

related to

this

issue. Conclusions of these

stydies

Correct your spelling

studies

are extremely

danger

Replace the word

dangerous

show examples

for

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation, especially for school

children

whose age are at 8.

For example

, if kids explore

Correct pronoun usage

their phone

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

whole

Correct article usage

the whole

show examples

day they would be more

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

, without any energy to play outdoor games

what

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can lead

Correct your spelling

serious

serios

Change preposition

to serios

show examples

health problems.

Furthermore

, dedicating much time to using

mobile

Add an article

a mobile

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

can be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

children

's creativity,

ability

Correct word choice

and ability

show examples

to solve simple tasks.

For instance

, my nephew,

unfurtunatelly

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

, has used

Correct your spelling

iPhone

iphone

Correct article usage

an iphone

show examples

for 3 years and,

as a result

, he is one of the worst pupils at school.

However

, there are

also

some merits of using

mentioned

Add an article

the mentioned

show examples

device. It can be used as a helpful item for

stydy

Correct your spelling

study

. If

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

are being

tought

Correct your spelling

taught

how to manipulate it in the right way they could find beneficial materials.

Moreover

, in the age of

smartdevices

Correct your spelling

smart devices

and the Internet,

Correct your spelling

child

childs

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

khew

Correct your spelling

knew

know

about

cyber space

Correct your spelling

cyberspace

show examples

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

This

knowledge should be

controled

Correct your spelling

controlled

by parents. As well as

this

, via the Internet

children

can gain extremely important information for study In conclusion, I totally disagree with

notion

Add an article

the notion

show examples

that

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

of owning

mabile

Correct your spelling

mobile

phones by

children

has

Add the particle

tohas

show examples

outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

However

, it can be used

appropriatelly

Correct your spelling

appropriately

when there is a parent's control.

Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on Wed Apr 06 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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children as a young as eight own a mobile phone nowadays. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Its is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities and centres with other people, rather than living with their adult children. What is the reason for this and what are the solutions for this?

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that a person should change a career at least once, while others think that it is better to stay in one job for a lifetime. What is your opinion?

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.