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Band 5

children as a young as eight own a mobile phone nowadays. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

#children #eight #phone #outweigh
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It is widespread that many teenagers have smartphones. I do not think that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 of
this
Linking Words
 outweigh the drawbacks. The main reason is that
this
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 trend might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 youngsters.
As being
Change preposition
Being
show examples
 with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 device
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
 than 3 or 4 hours can affect
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 brain significantly.
In addition
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, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 plenty of
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 related to
this
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 issue. Conclusions of these
stydies
Correct your spelling
studies
 are extremely
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
 for
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation, especially for school
children
Use synonyms
 whose age are at 8.
For example
Linking Words
, if kids explore
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 day they would be more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
, without any energy to play outdoor games
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can lead
Correct your spelling
serious
serios
Change preposition
to serios
show examples
 health problems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, dedicating much time to using
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's creativity,
ability
Correct word choice
and ability
show examples
 to solve simple tasks.
For instance
Linking Words
, my nephew,
unfurtunatelly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
, has used
Correct your spelling
iPhone
iphone
Correct article usage
an iphone
show examples
 for 3 years and,
as a result
Linking Words
, he is one of the worst pupils at school.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 some merits of using
mentioned
Add an article
the mentioned
show examples
 device. It can be used as a helpful item for
stydy
Correct your spelling
study
. If
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 are being
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 how to manipulate it in the right way they could find beneficial materials.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the age of
smartdevices
Correct your spelling
smart devices
 and the Internet,
Correct your spelling
child
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
khew
Correct your spelling
knew
know
 about
cyber space
Correct your spelling
cyberspace
show examples
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
This
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 knowledge should be
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 by parents. As well as
this
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, via the Internet
children
Use synonyms
 can gain extremely important information for study In conclusion, I totally disagree with
notion
Add an article
the notion
show examples
 that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of owning
mabile
Correct your spelling
mobile
 phones by
children
Use synonyms
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
 outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it can be used
appropriatelly
Correct your spelling
appropriately
 when there is a parent's control.
Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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