It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#proportion #people #countries #future #development

The improvement of health care systems and

humans'

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humans

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lifestyle

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lifestyles

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have increased

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life expectancy around the world.

Moreover

, the tendency of couples to have one child due to the twentieth-century financial difficulties

has

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have

show examples

resulted in a decrease in

young

Add an article

the young

a young

show examples

population. So, population ageing is expected for the future generation. It is noteworthy to bear in mind that

this

phenomenon has its own two sides;

however

, I believe that its disadvantages overweight its benefits. The following essay will overlook two rationales that support my notion.

Firstly

, countries' industries are

running

Wrong verb form

run

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by the young generation. Youngsters have helped countries to remain the

countinuity

Correct your spelling

continuity

of industries.

For example

, in a company, strenuous positions are

filling

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filled

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with young and powerful employees while old workers are

promoting

Wrong verb form

promoted

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

positions with lower physical activity

requirement

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requirements

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, which contributes to the company's survival.

Consequently

, fewer young human resources

leads

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lead

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to companies'

bancruptcy

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bankruptcy

and financial predicaments.

Secondly

elderlies

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elderly

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have always been viewed as a group

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

needs

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apply

show examples

great attention.

This

volnurable

Correct your spelling

vulnerable

age-group

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age group

show examples

requires more social services than the young generation.

For instance

, the

prevelence

Correct your spelling

prevalence

of medical conditions is much higher in them, which can put more pressure on

Correct article usage

the

show examples

healthcare system.

In addition

, the dependency of elderlies on younger people is irrefutable.

Therefore

, by ageing, not only will not enough caregivers be available in future but

also

more nursing houses will be required, which causes

financial

Add an article

a financial

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burden for governments. To sum up, the disadvantages of population ageing

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

greater than its advantages. I believe that a subsequent decline in human resources to execute careers and more financial budget that a government needs to protect old people negate all benefits.

Submitted by panizfathi70128 on Wed Apr 06 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Children should go school or be taught at home. Discuss both aspects and give your opinion.

The process gives information about how carbonated water is made.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have a little effect on public health, and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.