IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

n many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Health is
must
Correct article usage
a must
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 popular issue these days for almost everyone. In most
of
Change preposition
apply
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nations
Add an article
the nations
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 , youngsters are On fleek obesity and Deleterious . Many individuals believe that the authority should have Liability.Actually , I am partially Acknowledge
with
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 statement and discuss everything in
below
Correct article usage
the below
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 paragraphs There is no doubt, over fat is the biggest issue for
this
Linking Words
 generation. Due to
have
Change the verb form
having
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immensity good level of fast food like burgers pizza, shakes and many more others.According to the Health expertise department
Add a comma
,
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they said
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of people
in
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apply
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worldwide having body overweight problem
was report
Change the verb form
was reported
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last
Linking Words
 month and it is rapidly increased among them. After that, while working and
sit
Wrong verb form
sitting
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 on
chair
Add an article
a chair
the chair
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 for eight hours built the tummy fat , the main reason is no movements of human structures constant hours. The latest example of online classes and work from home. On the other
side's
Change noun form
side
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 is of opponents frequently contended that government should take action
of
Change preposition
against
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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overweight and unhealthy Diet .
First
Linking Words
 , whatever the reason is they should do mandatory subject related heath and foods in the universities , colleges and schools
.what's
Change the verb form
.what are
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 more they should ban street food places from the cities and town
then
Linking Words
 Children could not force their parents to buy that unhealthy eating.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the governments should allow only the healthy stuffed on the street that would encourage the children to have healthy. To summarize my all ideas , both parents and government should take initiative for their kids and upcoming nations to stay healthy and eat great.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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