Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #rate #crime

There is no doubt that

technology

is changing the routine of our

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

rapidly. Some people believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cutting-edge

technology

can avoid and abate the rate of committing

Add an article

an offence

the offence

show examples

offence

Fix the agreement mistake

offences

show examples

. I completely agree that modern

technology

helps us to reduce the rate of criminals. Even though there are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

abound

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

the solution

a solution

show examples

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

to cut down the number of lawbreakers, I will consider

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

only the two key technics in here.

Firstly

, in my opinion,

surveillance

Add an article

a surveillance

show examples

camera is the most effective way to reduce the biggest

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of events that are related to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outdoor crimes.

In addition

, I believe that if people have any impression

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that CCTV is always observing them, it could be affected

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their mental why cannot get involved with scandals.

For instance

, according to

statistic

Fix the agreement mistake

statistics

show examples

, after

Chinese

Add an article

the Chinese

show examples

government had been implemented

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

surveillance cameras

Change preposition

show examples

public streets and along roads in several

region

Change to a plural noun

regions

show examples

, they really surprised

the

Change preposition

by the

show examples

number of crimes that have dramatically fallen. As

result

Add an article

a result

show examples

of the project, they have been installing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

million of

Add an article

the camera

a camera

show examples

camera

Fix the agreement mistake

cameras

show examples

in other regions. Another key point is to trace the

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

for individuals.

Smart phone

Correct your spelling

Smartphone

show examples

manufactures

Correct your spelling

manufacturers

show examples

and cellular mobile operators should provide the information requested by law enforcement and the police.

This

will not only support

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the detection of any crime,

however

also

make a significant contribution to its prevention. To conclude, there is no surprise the police can use the surveillance camera and the trace and log for mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

to detect a crime as well as

preventing

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

them. In the future, as mentioned

Change preposition

apply

show examples

above

technology

solutions will be more effective if

use

Change the form of the verb

used

show examples

in combination with artificial intelligence.

Submitted by ronald.delacruz12 on Thu Apr 07 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

274 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Transport preference among young people in different countries.
The bar chart illustrates, transport preference among the United Kingdom, United States, France and Italy by younger generation in a year.
7
band
Since it is so easy to reach a large audience on the internet, people have to be exceptionally talented to become famous these days. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that in the modern world social media developed significantly and there are many ways to become famous. The recent public debates revolved around whether individuals should have an extraordinary talent for having many followers or not need to have it. While some argue that unique skills are important for that, I firmly believe that people might get fame by psychological triggers or just because they have provocative behavior and pretend to be well-known and rich. In this essay, I will elaborate on these points of view.
6.5
band
In some cities, the number of tourists seem to be overwhelming. Why this is happening? What are the effects of this on individuals and society?
The tourism industry attracts visitors to the cities. People like to visit different cities and countries to explore their culture. This essay will explain why this is happening and its effects on people in society.
5.5
band
Some people think that robots are very important to human’s future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this digital age, the development of robots become increasingly massive with the advancement of machine learning (ML) and artificial intelligence (AI) system which lead some people to argue that robots are essential in future human civilization. Meanwhile, others believe that robot devices can bring threats for humanity. The following essay will elaborate those views in detail.
7.5
band
Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50persent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extend do you agree?
In the past in our society women did not have full rights. Only men might vote, study and establish the cities. In the modern world, it must not be such kind of problem as gender discrimination. Nevertheless, female workers are filling the majority of employees in advanced countries, the senior positions often belong to males. In this controversial issue I would like to express my point of view on it. I totally agree with this approach and I consider that companies should spread top-level jobs among women.

Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Transport preference among young people in different countries.

Since it is so easy to reach a large audience on the internet, people have to be exceptionally talented to become famous these days. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, the number of tourists seem to be overwhelming. Why this is happening? What are the effects of this on individuals and society?

Some people think that robots are very important to human’s future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50persent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extend do you agree?