The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In these
Change preposition
These
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days, in several
Use synonyms
countries
Add a comma
,countries
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many
people
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are seeking a
job
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that
earning
Wrong verb form
earns
show examples
a huge
amount
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of
salary
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because of their inflation, for
this
Linking Words
reason
Add the comma(s)
,reason
show examples
I strongly agree with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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salary
Use synonyms
. So it has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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quality of life,
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
themselves and spend time with their family.   One important reason for
this
Linking Words
opinion is that when
people
Use synonyms
are earning a huge
amount
Use synonyms
of
salary
Use synonyms
they can spend
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their quality of life. When
people
Use synonyms
find a high
salary
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job
Use synonyms
, they can pay for their essential needs
such
Linking Words
as shelter and
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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. If they do not have enough
salary
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, they cannot spend for renting shelter or buying
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
or clothes.
For example
Linking Words
, in some
countries
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that are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under sanction price of essential
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
is getting high so it is better for
people
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to have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
to pay for essential things.
Therefore
Linking Words
, finding a
job
Use synonyms
with earning a huge
amount
Use synonyms
of
salary
Use synonyms
is a wise decision for many
people
Use synonyms
in these
countries
Use synonyms
.   Another important reason for
this
Linking Words
opinion is that when
people
Use synonyms
are earning a huge
amount
Use synonyms
of
salary
Use synonyms
they can save
money
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after a while can to invest it in many methods
such
Linking Words
as
stock
Correct article usage
the stock
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market, beginning a new business and improve themselves without any worried about
money
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. When some
people
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could not be earning a huge
amount
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
they could not be saving
money
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and improve themselves because they spend
money
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their essential needs.
Due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, finding a
job
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with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
is
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
show examples
decision for many
people
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
younger
people
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.  
However
Linking Words
, some
people
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believe that having a high
salary
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
is not valuable and
chance
Add an article
the chance
a chance
show examples
of promotion, gaining new professional experiences are more important but I believe that having a
job
Use synonyms
with earning a huge
amount
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
is more important because they can save
money
Use synonyms
and spend it for their entertainments
such
Linking Words
as going to trip, buying modern house or car.
Then
Linking Words
, finding a
job
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with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sounds great.   In conclusion, in several
Use synonyms
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
many
people
Use synonyms
believe that having a
job
Use synonyms
with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
is
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
than other conditions because they can spend
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their essential needs or invest
money
Use synonyms
and improve their life or spend
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
. So I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement.
Submitted by Shaghayegh  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • passion
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • societal impact
  • income disparity
  • material success
  • monetary compensation
  • wealth accumulation
  • economic well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: