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Band 5.5

Marketing and promotion is key to a successful business. To what extent do you agree?

#promotion #business
Marketing has always played an important role for businesses to maximize their profit.
While
 I am aware of the importance of that, I believe there are other crucial factors for success
as well as
 marketing. On the one hand,
that is
 a vital factor for a
business
. People will not be aware of a
product
 or a service if there is not a proper and inefficient advertisement. They should comprehend the utility of a
product
 and how they can buy that to promote
the
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revenue.
For example
, if a marketing plan is not planned thoroughly, the
business
 will be in danger of bankruptcy.
Therefore
, the importance of marketing and promotion should not be neglected. the marketing team need to know psychology to find out the ways
of
Change preposition
to
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encouragement
Replace the word
encourage
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for
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people to pay for the
product
 or the service they offer,
otherwise
, the sales rate will not increase.
On the other hand
, there are several factors other than marketing that are important for a
business
 to succeed.
Firstly
, it does not matter how the performance of the marketing team is perfect as long as the
product
 is low-quality. People may pay once for a
product
due to
 the advertisements but, it is the excellence of the goods that causes more income.
For instance
, users often suggest a high-quality dress to their friends which results in an increment in revenue for that company.
Secondly
, It is really important to identify the needs of the population. To illustrate, if the majority do not wear a specific type of dress, they would not pay for that even though it is produced with the best fabrics.
As a result
, a
business
 will not succeed if there is not enough demand. In conclusion, it seems to me that,
although
 marketing and promotion are crucial for a career to succeed, there are
also
 other factors
such
 as quality and demands.
Submitted by Sarah_nazari on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's position on the extent to which marketing is key to a successful business. The conclusion should summarise the main points and opinion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen the arguments and make the essay more convincing. Make sure each paragraph is focused on a single main idea related to the topic.
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