Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which is better?

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People have different options regarding educational systems.

While

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many nations are argued that some educational classifications encourage scholarships to certain courses at the age of 15,

whereas

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, others considered that nations should study a huge collection of subjects until they leave school.

This

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essay will examine the reasons for

this

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action and the forthcoming paragraphs will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of systems. On the one hand,the basic advantage of studying in a certain direction is that children can concentrate their minds in exact ways.

In other words

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, if humans studied

according to

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their interests, so they can reach some kind of goal.

Additionally

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,if scholarships studied the exact course,

then

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they can chance to spend more time thinking right direction.

For example

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, I studied foreign language school which adapted linguistic subjects,especially the English language that's why nowadays I have more language skills than those who studied in the general institute. Turning off the other hands of argument, the main advantage of studying in general universities is that the population can catch lots of information.Because youngsters studied lots of courses like art, science, technology and so on.

In contrast

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, societies that studied in traditional institutions had more intelligence than those that studied in special departments.

For instance

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, Uzbekistan's educational system built that the community must be studied in a general academy until they graduate school after that they can change to choose their future career to accord their interest. In conclusion, I support both types of combinations. I think those systems have their usage place and time.

Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on Thu Apr 07 2022

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task response

For an improved task response, ensure to clearly address the prompt by discussing the benefits of each educational system and providing a clear stance on which is better. Provide more detailed and balanced arguments for each system.

coherence and cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on organizing the essay more effectively. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which is better?

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

University students should pay all the costs of their studies because university education benefits individuals more than it benefits society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. To what extent do you agree?

In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?