Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#educationalists #child #instrument

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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over

every

Correct word choice

whether every

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kid should be taught to play a musical

instrument

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. In my opinion, I would reckon that every youngster is not obligated to become capable of playing a musical apparatus.

First

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of all, it is an inevitable fact that not every young teenager has applied artistic talent in learning

the

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apply

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musical

instrument

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as everyone is unique. Individuals just have to find out in what field they are gifted

Remove the comma

apply

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so that he or

she

Correct pronoun usage

they

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will be called a prodigy, after spending a particular

time

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in that field.

For instance

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, it is said that a fish swims in water better than any

animals

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animal

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, but it would suffer if the fish gets obliged to climb a tree, the fish will think of itself as a failure for the rest of its life, which is tragic.

Hence

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, it is just ironic to burden everyone to acquire

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

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in playing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

musical

instrument

Use synonyms

Secondly

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, it is

also

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an undeniable fact that the untalented children assigned to become competent in playing instruments will lose a lot of

time

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and take damage mentally.

Instead

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, it is beneficial to spend

time

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and effort diligently on a thing captivating their mind.

For example

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, Rayleigh left his daily job to chase his passion to become a writer, after years of ups-and-down he was regarded as one of the apt authors

Change preposition

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his

time

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Thus

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, it is essential to chase your passionate activity but not only musical instruments. In conclusion, from the ideas and examples given, I firmly believe every kid is not obliged to acquire a knowledge of the musical

instrument

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, as there are many children who despise things relating to music.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Fri Apr 08 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that economic development is the only way to end world poverty. However, others argue that economic growth is causing environmental problems and should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your own oppinion.

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe research on previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on present and future generation.discuss both views and show your opinion.