There are growing demand for fresh water nowadays and this becoming a global problem. What are the causes and solutions?

The issue of fresh
water
is growing rapidly around the globe for the time being. From my perspective, the most contributing factors to
this
problem are the pollution of
water
along with
wasting clean
water
to fruitless things and banning throwing rubbish into the
water
sources
together with
saving pure
water
can be considered as viable solutions to it. Chief among the causes of
this
problem is contamination of H2O.
For instance
, If individuals throw trash into lakes , they will not be able to drink soft
water
.
Accordingly
, people are throwing
a large amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
large amounts
a large amount
show examples
of garbage into rivers, Which can be harmful to the environment. Another important reason for
this
is the usage of
water
for useless activities
such
as running the aqua for a long time. The prime example of
this
, some youngsters just open the tap for no reason. In order to resolve
this
issue I deem that its root causes should be first addressed. Perhaps the most effective method of doing
this
would be, not allowing humans to throw the rubbish to banned areas. In
this
case, the government should give severe punishments to law offenders,
however
this
shall ease the situation. One
further
measure can be preserving the
water
. As an example, If people save
water
there will be enough
water
for every person. By way of conclusion, I reckon that fresh
water
is clearly a problem of
such
complexity that no solution is likely in the short term.
Nonetheless
, I believe that restricting garbage to specific zones and the economy of uncontaminated
water
would constitute a very good first step.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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coherence cohesion
Try to maintain consistency in your use of terms related to water. Switching between 'H2O', 'soft water', 'aqua', and 'uncontaminated water' can be confusing. Consistent terminology enhances clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the structure of your paragraphs. Aim for a clear introduction, body paragraphs with a single main idea supported by examples or details, and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
Expand on your examples with more detail to fully demonstrate your points. Specific examples help strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Avoid making sweeping statements without evidence. Strengthen your argument by providing concrete examples or citing studies where possible.
task achievement
You have addressed both the causes and solutions to the problem, which meets the task's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's overall organization is logical, with distinct segments dedicated to causes and solutions.

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