Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Currently,all of
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
is dramatically developing,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
show examples
control
cameras
and cellphone trackers are used as a
manitoring
Correct your spelling
monitoring
technicals.
Usually
Add a comma
,Usually
show examples
peoples don't
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
to
Add a missing verb
be being
show examples
being
Change the verb form
be
show examples
monitored. At present
science
Add a comma
,science
show examples
fictions are so much developing
therefore
visual tools were very modern. People's every
movements
Change to a singular noun
movement
show examples
monitoring everywhere.Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
facilities good
effected
Replace the word
affected
show examples
employer's
Correct article usage
the employer's
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and street
truck's
Change noun form
truck
show examples
movement.
Besides
security
cameras
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
in banks, markets,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
and streets. Even though peoples always do not
honesty
Replace the word
honest
show examples
and truthy in fact that control
cameras
need all place.
In addition
monitoring
cameras
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
when unevsitiy examines due to students can not use any helpful methodical things. In conclusion monitoring technologies
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
useful
every
Change preposition
for every
show examples
profession
Replace the word
professional
show examples
sites and
remembered
Change the form of the verb
remember
show examples
important events in our life.
Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance
  • Cell phone tracking
  • Security cameras
  • Privacy invasion
  • Data security
  • Crime prevention
  • Transparency
  • Accountability
  • Customer service
  • Misuse of data
  • Breach
  • Identity theft
  • Autonomy
  • Efficiency
  • Psychological impact
  • Awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: