Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Whether
university
is the only path leading to
success
has been debated many times. From my perspective, graduating from the
university
provides us with some advantageous conditions, but
this
does not mean that we must get through
this
channel to achieve
success
. Though we have been talking about weakening obsession with
university
qualifications, learning in college does impart to us some essential characteristics which are indispensable for
success
. For illustration, it is in the
university
where I have gradually come in contact with methodology pluralism which argues that through different, sometimes even contradictory thinking methods, we obtain a more comprehensive comprehension of the world we live in.
This
cognition helps me to be more tolerant towards people with different beliefs, and we have finished a project of transcultural research through close collaborations.
This
example surely indicates the importance of
university
education in achieving
success
.
Nevertheless
, there are even more examples of people who have not graduated from the
university
having established remarkable achievements, one of whom is Bill Gates. He left Harvard determinedly to start a business when he was about 20, which nowadays has become well-known Microsoft, a tycoon in software. Examples of
this
kind are numerous, Musk(the CEO of Tesla), Jobs(the former CEO of Apple), and Fermi(an eminent physicist).
Therefore
, I would not enlist
university
qualifications as the necessary conditions for
success
. To summarise, the
university
can bring us many benefits which help us to be successful,
such
as proficient skills or profound knowledge.
Nonetheless
, the
university
is not the only way to
success
. Our lives are an expanse of field, and every direction is full of opportunities.
Submitted by hx88375757 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by streamlining the flow of ideas. For instance, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Expand on examples provided with more detail or additional examples to further strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Clarify some sentences for better comprehension, such as 'methodology pluralism' which may require more explanation for all readers.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
Use of relevant and specific examples like Bill Gates and other famous personalities to support the main points.
task achievement
Demonstrates a clear and comprehensive thought process throughout the essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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