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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most succesful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
Recently, the issue of the relationship between money and
success
 has become the subject of heated debate. Some
people
 assert that a great amount of money makes to be a
success
, while others argue
otherwise
. And I wholeheartedly agree with the latter stand. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion. On the one hand, those who claim that wealth is important to
success
Replace the word
successfully
show examples
 do so for several reasons. To be more specific, wealth allows an individual to enjoy their
life
 to the fullest. The wealthy can afford the possessions and lifestyle they desire and
also
 have the free time and peace of mind to completely enjoy their leisure.
Moreover
,
Furthermore
,
In addition
, Another reason is that in past centuries,
such
people
 were admired as shameless examples of personal enjoyment. Given these points, some
people
 hold the view that
this
 financial freedom can be viewed as the strictest and more direct definition of
success
.
However
, in my opinion, is that money itself does not always engender a feeling of satisfaction in the same way as more active pursuits in
life
. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that a number of the wealthy feel that they have little contributed to society, which makes them reduce the enjoyment of their gains. Another convincing reason is that
this
 dissatisfaction reduces motivation in
life
 and even confuses the ultimate goal of
life
.
For example
, We can see from a lot of media that Countless successful
people
, celebrities, and businessmen often suffer from depression or even take their own lives.
On the other hand
, scientists, teachers and artists are not extremely wealthy, but they are viewed as a great
success
 because of their contributions and their personal joy of making the most of their abilities. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about
this
 topic.
However
, after carefully considering
this
 matter, I fully support the view that
people
 who contribute to society are more successful than the rich for the reasons discussed above.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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