Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most succesful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Recently, the issue of the relationship between money and

success

Use synonyms

has become the subject of heated debate. Some

people

Use synonyms

assert that a great amount of money makes to be a

success

Use synonyms

, while others argue

otherwise

Linking Words

. And I wholeheartedly agree with the latter stand. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion. On the one hand, those who claim that wealth is important to

Use synonyms

success

Replace the word

successfully

show examples

do so for several reasons. To be more specific, wealth allows an individual to enjoy their

life

Use synonyms

to the fullest. The wealthy can afford the possessions and lifestyle they desire and

also

Linking Words

have the free time and peace of mind to completely enjoy their leisure.

Moreover

Linking Words

Furthermore

Linking Words

In addition

Linking Words

, Another reason is that in past centuries,

such

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

were admired as shameless examples of personal enjoyment. Given these points, some

people

Use synonyms

hold the view that

this

Linking Words

financial freedom can be viewed as the strictest and more direct definition of

success

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, is that money itself does not always engender a feeling of satisfaction in the same way as more active pursuits in

life

Use synonyms

. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that a number of the wealthy feel that they have little contributed to society, which makes them reduce the enjoyment of their gains. Another convincing reason is that

this

Linking Words

dissatisfaction reduces motivation in

life

Use synonyms

and even confuses the ultimate goal of

life

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, We can see from a lot of media that Countless successful

people

Use synonyms

, celebrities, and businessmen often suffer from depression or even take their own lives.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, scientists, teachers and artists are not extremely wealthy, but they are viewed as a great

success

Use synonyms

because of their contributions and their personal joy of making the most of their abilities. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about

this

Linking Words

topic.

However

Linking Words

, after carefully considering

this

Linking Words

matter, I fully support the view that

people

Use synonyms

who contribute to society are more successful than the rich for the reasons discussed above.

Submitted by shoep11 on Fri Apr 08 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

352 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A group of citizens think that, it is the best way to accept all bad aspects of our work conditions such as unsatisfactory or insufficient salary, while others believe that, it is beneficial to do our best to enhance our bad conditions. I completely agree that we have to try to make our position more comfortable because it will improve all aspects of our lives (mentally and physically).
7
band
Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?
In today's world of commerce, many individuals are more inclined to purchase products from several prevalent businesses that have substantial marketing and promotion campaigns. This trend results in some remarkable issues and devising a solution necessitates an endeavour including the government and other small enterprises.
7.5
band
Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their education as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solution could you suggest?
Besides studying in college or university, many student work, and as a consequence, they do not have enough time they spend on their lessons owing to the feeling of pressure. This essay agrees that the cause of this is a modern development demand, while the solution can be an alleviation of requirements towards the young who have graduated from university.
5.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that children should be taught by their parents about how to function as useful members of society, while others believe that sending children to educational institutions is the best way for them to study this. Although the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that family upbringing plays a more important role in educating children to be good parts of the community.
4.5
band
You recently stayed at your friend's place, to look after the house while he/she is away. You accidentally damaged something in his/her house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: describe what the accident was explain when it happened suggest how the damage can be fixed.
Hope to see you in the best of your health and radiant spirit. I’m writing this letter to let you know that by mistake I damaged your painting.

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most succesful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their education as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solution could you suggest?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You recently stayed at your friend's place, to look after the house while he/she is away. You accidentally damaged something in his/her house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: describe what the accident was explain when it happened suggest how the damage can be fixed.