Some people think sports are important for society, while others believe they should be taken as leisure activities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #sports #society #leisure #activities

It is undeniable that

people

are involved in

sports

activities

more and more before

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

civilization in order to improve their health.

Consequently

, some

people

believe that

sports

are vital for the community while others take the view that they should be undertaken as

leisure

activities

Although

sports

are good for

society

, in my opinion, I believe they should be undertaken as

leisure

activities

. On the one hand, there are

people

who take the view that

sports

are foremost for

society

. The most convincing reason for believing

this

is that physical activity can boost

people

’s efficiency in their life.

For example

, in today’s world,

people

are less attention to do regular exercise because they are fully occupied with their duties and they have a sedentary lifestyle expect

people

who are blue-collar workers.

Moreover

, doing physical

activities

help not only release stress and mental health but

also

maintain their health to prevent getting diseases

such

as diabetes.

Thus

, some

people

assert that

sports

are key to developing a healthy life and

society

. In spite of the above arguments, I hold the position that

sports

should be considered

leisure

activities

because all

people

are not able to be involved in

sports

Firstly

, there are some

people

who are unable to participate in

sports

because of their physical problems or disabilities.

Therefore

, if the sport will be part of our culture, they will feel disappointed in themselves.

For instance

, a person who is unable to walk because of disabilities is surely faced with mental difficulties if

sports

activities

are mandatory in public.

In addition

, some

people

are keen on learning or participating in art or playing musical instruments as they feel that these

activities

make them release stress and peaceful and they are not passionate about

sports

. In conclusion, it is obviously true that

sports

are undertaking to strong mentally and physically for our

society

Nevertheless

, my firm conviction is that it should be taken into consideration as

leisure

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

since individuals cannot involve in

sports

and they have the right to choose what they want to do.

Submitted by sandarmyint740 on Sat Apr 09 2022

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think sports are important for society, while others believe they should be taken as leisure activities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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