IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe school children should be given multiple short vacations, while others believe they should get one long vacation. Give the advantages of both and express your own point of view.

#people #school #children #vacations #vacation #point
The topic of the
vacation
 has been controversial. Some people believe that school children should be given multiple short
vacations
. Whereas, I agree with those who think that they should get
one
 long
vacation
. On
one
 hand, it is commonly believed that school children should be given multiple short
vacations
. The most important reason is that A lot of
vacations
 make pupils reduce stress from studying since breaking many times per month, making students charge their power.
For example
, according to the latest research conducted by Bangkok University, it was revealed that 80% of schools in Canada give a short break for their students 2 to 3 times per month,
this
 make the student have power and encourage them to study after breaking for
vacations
 because they know that it will have holidays again.
This
 example shows that an encourage plays a major role in concentration.
On the other hand
, it seems to me that they should get
one
 long
vacation
. The most significant reason to support
this
 is the fact that students will focus on studying utterly for a long time.
This
 is because if pupils get charged from their travellings, after that they will have a concentrate on studying. To illustrate
this
, in recent news, it has been reported that most schools in Asia have only 1 or 2
vacations
 in
one
 year, from
this
 situation makes a student have a good G.P.A for their future. I agree with
this
 point because they have the power to study and they can focus on studying without thinking to travel again in the same semester. In conclusion, having considered both sides of
this
 issue,
although
 school children should be given multiple short
vacations
, I agree with those who think that they should get
one
 long
vacation
.
Submitted by phatchara3832 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: