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Band 6

Some people think that travelling to work and working in the company’s office building makes employees more productive. However, others agree that it is better for employees to work at home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #company’s #office #employees #home
Many believe that travelling to and from
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 is to help the
employees
 to achieve more goals and to make a bountiful company.
However
, some argue that working without commuting is more accessible to some staff. I believe that it is more
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfying
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 for every worker to have a hybrid system of
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. Some insist that office-
work
 based is a result of prolific accomplishment to staff because it is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
lesser destruction for the workers and it is convenient for them to concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their task.
For example
, during the
pandemic
Add a comma
,pandemic
show examples
 my workmate tends to
work
 at home and she cannot finish her assignments due to her toddler’s noise that interrupts her ability to focus on her job. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I do agree that there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 benefits
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some
employees
 but it is not true
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everyone provided that many think that it is more relaxing and profuse in working remotely.
On the other hand
, some assume that working at home is more advantageous to
employees
, it is largely because
employees
 can afford to
work
 long hours so that they can complete their homework timely.
Furthermore
, it is fewer expenses for the company provided that it is home-based
work
 and it is convenient for all the staff because there is no more commuting and they do not need to cover the cost of some utilities
such
 as electricity, office buildings and
workplace
 insurance.
For instance
, I have a student that assign to make her home to be her
workplace
, she was agreed and until now she enjoying her job. And now I believe that
this
 is a positive development
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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. In conclusion, there is
debate
Add an article
a debate
the debate
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
work
-office based and home-
work
 based and I do agree that a hybrid system of
work
 will be a positive development in the company.
Submitted by miss.ubilas on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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