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Band 7

More and more people move away from family and friends for working. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages.

#people #move #friends
THE IMPORTANCE OF STAYING FAR FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY DUE TO PROFESSIONAL WORK IS ALWAYS DEBATABLE HAS NOW BECOME MORE CONTROVERSIAL AMONG THE
PEOPLE
 CLAIMING THAT IT IS BENEFICIAL WHILE OTHERS REJECT
THIS
 NOTION . IN MY OPINION , IN THE FUTURE ,MOST OF THE
PEOPLE
 GO OUT FOR FINDING A JOB
THAT IS
 ABSOLUTELY FINE . THAT'S WHY I AM IN FAVOUR OF
THIS
 NOTION .I WILL
FURTHER
 ELABORATE ON MY VIEWS IN THE UPCOMING PARAGRAPHS. THE
FIRST
 AND FOREMOST IS THE ACHIEVEMENT OF A GOAL . FOR ,INSTANCE IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GET A HIGHER POSITION IN A METROPOLITAN COMPANY
THEN
 HAS TO MOVE .
SECONDLY
, THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET JOBS IN YOUR OWN CITY. SOMETIMES WHERE WE LIVE .THAT HAS NOT MANY JOBS AVAILABLE FOR EVERYONE
,
Remove the comma
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SO
THAT
Correct word choice
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THEY CAN CHOOSE ACCORDING TO THEIR ABILITY AND CHOICES .ANOTHER IS THAT,SITUATION OF FAMILY . MIDDLE-CLASS
PEOPLE
 WANT TO ENHANCE THE LEVEL OF LIVING NOT ONLY FOR THEMSELVES BUT
ALSO
 FOR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS .
THAT IS
 GOOD FOR FAMILY AND NATION ,THROUGH
THIS
 WE CAN MITIGATE THE POVERTY .
ON THE OTHER HAND
 , THE REST
PEOPLE
 FEEL ALONE IF THERE IS ONLY A CHILD WHO GOES OUTSIDE TO EARN MONEY .
BESIDES
,THEY DON'T SHARE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THEIR CHILD WHETHER THEY ARE ILL. THEY DON'T WANT TO GIVE STRESS.
MOREOVER
 ,PARENTS OR FRIENDS MISS THEM ON THE SPECIAL OCCASIONS LIKE DIWALI,DUSSEHRA,RAKHI AND MANY MORE ,THEY HAVE TO SPEND PRECIOUS TIME WITHOUT THEM. TO RECAPITULATE , MERITS ARE MORE THAN DEMERITS . DRAWBACKS CAN BE REMOVED BY THE CONGREGATION WHEN A WORKING PERSON COMES TO HOME FOR A WHILE . SO, IT IS ABSOLUTELY FINE IF SOMEONE STAY AWAY FROM FAMILY OR FRIENDS DUE TO WORKLOAD .
Submitted by imsumitk1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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