The population in most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problem does overpopulation in the cities cause? How can these problems be solved?

#population #cities #people #move #work #opportunities #overpopulation

It is argued that nowadays people tend to migrate to downtowns because they attempt to find job opportunities.

This

essay will examine cases of

this

problem and the forthcoming paragraphs

showed

Wrong verb form

will show

show examples

both advantages side. On the one hand, the basic advantage of living in great cities is that the community should acquire lots of facilities.

In other words

,the community move to cities to find work and new opportunities.

Consequently

, the city

faced

Wrong verb form

faces

show examples

some kinds of problems like traffic jams, especially during rush hours because the nations who

lived

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

in city centres have their private motors and they try to drive them.

Additionally

, We can see large companies and factories

built

Wrong verb form

building

show examples

their offices in city centres and these kinds of companies have workers

about

Change preposition

in about

show examples

of thousand nations and they

hired

Wrong verb form

hire

show examples

convenient accommodations for relaxing after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard work,

Change preposition

show examples

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

cases

Correct your spelling

causes

show examples

to increase prices of flats.

For example

, In New York

located

Verb problem

there is

show examples

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

Apple company

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

there

worked

Verb problem

are

show examples

lots of employees and

this

company's workers were the reason for traffic jams, particularly

rush

Change preposition

during rush

show examples

houres

Correct your spelling

hours

show examples

Turn off

Verb problem

show examples

the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

of argument, the main reason for

this

action is that the population did not find work facilities in rural areas.If we want to solve

this

problem.

Firstly

, we should relocate large

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

rural places and here near the factories have to build new tall apartments for workers.

Additionally

, the government should encourage the community to use public transportation to

attain

Verb problem

reach

show examples

their workplaces. In conclusion, I support

this

statement because in big cities the public

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffers

show examples

from noisy pollution and traffic jams that's why the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

should remove large plants in the countryside.

Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on Sun Apr 10 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve logical transitions between ideas for better flow.

task achievement

Avoid repeating similar ideas; focus on new insights in each paragraph.

task achievement

Ensure all examples directly support your main ideas for clarity and relevance.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction is clear and presents the topic well.

task achievement

A coherent background has been provided for the issues discussed.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overpopulation
urbanization
strain on resources
property prices
traffic congestion
public services
healthcare
education
sanitation
unemployment rates
competition
green spaces
recreational areas
infrastructure
quality of life
mental health

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The population in most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problem does overpopulation in the cities cause? How can these problems be solved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, many small local 8 shops have closed because band customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.