Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world

There is no doubt that these days the violence rate is increasing in some major cities worldwide. The question is , what is the source behind

this

such

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

behaviour? Is it violent video

games

Change noun form

games'

game's

show examples

fault ?. In

this

essay , I am going to discuss my perspective and draw my own conclusion. In terms of views, nowadays kids play violent

games

, which consider one of the causes of the high increase of crime and cruelty in important cities. The main reason given to support

this

claim is that the best seller video

games

are hovering around horror and murders, which is not suitable for kids. To illustrate, a young child will think what happens on the screen could be done in real life.

In other words

, feel exciting, due to the elevating adrenalin level.

Hence

, leads to an unconscious desire to try

this

feeling of power.

However

, these types of

games

could not be the reason behind

this

behaviour.

Firstly

, parents should be involved in their child's choices for

games

, taking into consideration the kid's age.

In other words

, there must be

Remove the article

apply

show examples

guidance from them.

Secondly

although

, there are notorious categories of

games

, still there

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

good ones, which are educational and promote thinking and problems solving skills in children.

Hence

, violent

games

might not the only reason for aggressive criminal attitudes in the world. In conclusion,

although

the playing of fierce

games

leads to crimes and violence in

such

major cities worldwide, It may not be the critical motive behind those crimes. I believe that these groups of video

games

lead to aggressive behaviour.

Submitted by hendalnms on Sun Apr 10 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Your child is going on a 3 day international schooltrip .Head teacher wants to find out if parents are interested in joining.write a letter say why you would like to go suggest what you can do to help ask other questions about the trip

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?