IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. what are the reasons for this?what can be done to tackle this problem?

#health #people
One of the activities that can be good for health is walking
therefore
 in the present, fewer people are walking and there are a few reasons I would like to inform you
such
 as transportation. In my point, convenience can be the important reason which the population love because not only a train can arrive at your place but
also
 we are not getting more exhausted after a long day of work.
On the other hand
, whether your workplace is not located far away from your accommodation
thus
 we might take a walk so to deal with
this
, the government can participate to influence their civilians by acknowledging them or even reduce tax if they are having a healthy behaviour.
In addition
, in Some countries
such
 as my country, pavements are often not in good condition or not safe for pedestrians ,
for example
, a motorbike rides on the path walk while the crowd are walking in my opinion to manage the problem, the government should take an action
such
 as developing the side-walk in a good condition and to inflict those who using pavements as a road. To sum up, I believe people love having healthy life but if the infrastructures of the country are not ready for them
such
 as a road, where people can ride a bike ,or a pavement, where everyone can walk
moreover
 skate , these problems can be solved as well as those governments willing improvement.
Submitted by kharisphim.jane on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: