IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #lives #change
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Current
Change preposition
In current
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 years more
people
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 like to spend their lives doing the same activity or
work
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 and they prefer to
it
Add a missing verb
do it
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. But some
people
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 think that
to
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changing
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 their
work
Use synonyms
 is better than doing only
one
Use synonyms
 activity during their lifetime. My essay will examine the views in the upcoming paragraph. On the
one
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 hand, it might be said that if
people
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 love their
work
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, they will spend their whole life to it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, doing the same thing or
work
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 to be expert and popular with it
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because if
people
Use synonyms
 devote much time to
one
Use synonyms
 activity, they will be just prominent and nearly flawless person on their
work
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. Another cause
to
Change preposition
for
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 that view is the good salary
,
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apply
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 because nobody
throw
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throws
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 their
work
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 which is paid good income.
Conversely
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, the jobs which are paid
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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 money
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
Linking Words
 cause to
change
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 or activities.
For example
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, if employers offer
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job
that is
Linking Words
 paid much money to
people
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 who
work
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 on low paid jobs,
people
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 will exactly choose the offered
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, more interested in changeable things namely changeable life, because their character is curious and diligent,
thus
Linking Words
, they prefer to
change
Use synonyms
 their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. It might be said, that conditions might help to adopt a resolution
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they have experienced more difficulties and situations
as well as those experiences
Add the comma(s)
, as well as those experiences,
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 affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their worldview. In conclusion, it seems that doing the same things is
good
Add an article
a good
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 way to be
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
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 and improve their skills
on
Change preposition
in
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one
Use synonyms
 job but I prefer to
change
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 because it is more interesting and useful than
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 view.
Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: