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Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #lives #change
Current
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In current
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 years more
people
 like to spend their lives doing the same activity or
work
 and they prefer to
it
Add a missing verb
do it
show examples
. But some
people
 think that
to
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
change
 their
work
 is better than doing only
one
 activity during their lifetime. My essay will examine the views in the upcoming paragraph. On the
one
 hand, it might be said that if
people
 love their
work
, they will spend their whole life to it.
Furthermore
, doing the same thing or
work
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 to be expert and popular with it
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because if
people
 devote much time to
one
 activity, they will be just prominent and nearly flawless person on their
work
. Another cause
to
Change preposition
for
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 that view is the good salary
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because nobody
throw
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throws
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 their
work
 which is paid good income.
Conversely
, the jobs which are paid
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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 money
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
 cause to
change
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 or activities.
For example
, if employers offer
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job
that is
 paid much money to
people
 who
work
 on low paid jobs,
people
 will exactly choose the offered
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
.
Secondly
, more interested in changeable things namely changeable life, because their character is curious and diligent,
thus
, they prefer to
change
 their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. It might be said, that conditions might help to adopt a resolution
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they have experienced more difficulties and situations
as well as those experiences
Add the comma(s)
, as well as those experiences,
show examples
 affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their worldview. In conclusion, it seems that doing the same things is
good
Add an article
a good
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 way to be
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
 and improve their skills
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
one
 job but I prefer to
change
 because it is more interesting and useful than
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 view.
Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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