IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Is it better to be an employee or to start a business after graduation?

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Nowadays, creating a start-up or continuing a
business
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 is becoming increasingly common. Many
students
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 are unsure of what they want to do after graduation. Some
students
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 consider starting their own businesses, while others prefer to
gain
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experience
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 by working for a corporation.
However
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, I believe that
students
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 should have a job after graduating from college in order to develop their
skills
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 and make connections.
First
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 of all,
students
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 will learn how to apply their college
skills
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 to actual work situations.
For example
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, almost every
company
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 requires their employees to collaborate with each other, so teamwork
skills
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 are essential for workers. Other
skills
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,
such
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 as communication, responsibility, and active listening, are
also
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 required for effective teamwork.
Therefore
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, if
students
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 work in the
company
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, they will definitely improve their
skills
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 and
gain
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experience
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.
Secondly
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, while working at the
company
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,
students
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 can develop strong relationships and networks with key people in their field. Having more connections will provide them with more opportunities because these contacts are extremely valuable when transferring to another
company
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 or starting their own
business
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 in the same field.
Moreover
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, It would be beneficial to them if they are looking for customers when they start their own
business
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 in the same field.
Nevertheless
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, some
students
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 prefer to start a
business
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 after graduating from college. They think that when they are younger, their energy and motivation will be high, so it will be a great time to create the
business
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first
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. It may be true that when they are younger, they will have more motivation.
However
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, they will not have much
business
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experience
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 when they graduate, so it will be tough for them to be successful.They can be stressed and depressed due to a lack of readiness, so It might be better to
gain
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experience
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first
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 and
then
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 start a
business
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 later. In conclusion,
in addition
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 to the benefits mentioned above,
students
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 will be able to practice their
skills
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 and improve them,
gain
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 more connections, and
experience
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. Having a
business
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 and getting a job both have advantages.
However
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, once they have a few years of
experience
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, it is generally easier for them to start a
business
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 in the future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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