It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

The diversity we are witnessing around us
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has motivated people, who decided to explore the world. Some have argued that, comprehending new culture is possible from their sofa, only
with
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by
show examples
surfing
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
and reading books. In my opinion, it would be wrong to think that, we can understand other societies without going there. But what are my reasons
to
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for
show examples
this
claim? It can
to
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apply
show examples
be told that,
although
the pictures
,
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apply
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
been shown by
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
, are assumed honestly, they are selected carefully to represent positive aspects of the desired culture.
In other words
,
usually
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,usually
show examples
there has been a tendency, among all nations, to cover negative
point
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points
show examples
of their civilization. Take,
for example
,
Islamic
Correct article usage
the Islamic
show examples
scarifying of sheep, which is seldom displayed in their broadcast. On
this
basis, trusting
on
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apply
show examples
multimedia and written sources are not authoritative, to get familiar with foreign countries.
In
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On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
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another hand
other hands
show examples
, going on a journey abroad leads to observing their traditions directly. Undoubtedly many sides of any culture, particularly will
experiencing
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experience
be experiencing
show examples
by being among that community. In
this
case
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,case
show examples
Iran is a good example
,
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apply
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when a huge body of western tourists
have
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has
show examples
admitted, they
Add a missing verb
were impressed
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impressed
Add a missing verb
were impressed
show examples
with Iranian hospitality,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
had not been expected. Based on
this
argument, while you do not see directly people’s daily life, you cannot have a pure cognition of their thoughts.
To
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In
show examples
conclusion, I strongly believe, should you do not go overseas to find out new knowledge about other nations, you will not get acquaintance their cultures through publications and media.
Consequently
, I recommend
to
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apply
show examples
studying cultures beyond
broadcast
Correct article usage
the broadcast
show examples
and
advertisements’
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advertisements
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window
Fix the agreement mistake
windows
show examples
.
Submitted by hamidmszdh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural immersion
  • digital access
  • firsthand experience
  • nuanced understanding
  • cultural subtleties
  • cost-effective learning
  • real-time interaction
  • personal growth
  • sensory engagement
  • global interconnectedness
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