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Band 5.5

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #culture #people #books #films #internet
The diversity we are witnessing around us
,
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apply
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 has motivated people, who decided to explore the world. Some have argued that, comprehending new culture is possible from their sofa, only
with
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by
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 surfing
internet
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the internet
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 and reading books. In my opinion, it would be wrong to think that, we can understand other societies without going there. But what are my reasons
to
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for
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this
 claim? It can
to
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apply
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be told that,
although
 the pictures
,
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apply
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have
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that have
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 been shown by
media
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the media
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, are assumed honestly, they are selected carefully to represent positive aspects of the desired culture.
In other words
,
usually
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,usually
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 there has been a tendency, among all nations, to cover negative
point
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points
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 of their civilization. Take,
for example
,
Islamic
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the Islamic
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 scarifying of sheep, which is seldom displayed in their broadcast. On
this
 basis, trusting
on
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apply
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multimedia and written sources are not authoritative, to get familiar with foreign countries.
In
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On
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Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
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another hand
other hands
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, going on a journey abroad leads to observing their traditions directly. Undoubtedly many sides of any culture, particularly will
experiencing
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experience
be experiencing
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 by being among that community. In
this
case
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,case
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 Iran is a good example
,
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apply
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 when a huge body of western tourists
have
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has
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 admitted, they
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were impressed
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impressed
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were impressed
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 with Iranian hospitality,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 had not been expected. Based on
this
 argument, while you do not see directly people’s daily life, you cannot have a pure cognition of their thoughts.
To
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In
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 conclusion, I strongly believe, should you do not go overseas to find out new knowledge about other nations, you will not get acquaintance their cultures through publications and media.
Consequently
, I recommend
to
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apply
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studying cultures beyond
broadcast
Correct article usage
the broadcast
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 and
advertisements’
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advertisements
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window
Fix the agreement mistake
windows
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.
Submitted by hamidmszdh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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