IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #japanese #tourists #australia #tourist #market #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The first graph illustrates the
Japanese
Correct quantifier usage
number of Japanese
show examples
tourists
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad from 1985 to 1995. We can see in the bar graph that the number of
tourists
 continuously grows over
this
 decade.
While
 in 1985, about 5
Million
Japanese
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 abroad, already 15
Million
 left Japan for Vacation in 1995. The
second
 chart shows the share of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japanese
tourists
 that
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
Australia
. In 1985, less than 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Japanese
tourists
 flew to
Australia
. 5
Million
Japanese
 left their country for vacation, and 2
Million
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
Australia
 in 1985. If we compare the year 1985 with the year 1995, we can see that more
Japanese
 were
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad, but it is the same ratio of
tourists
 that
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
Australia
 as in 1985. 15
Million
Japanese
 went abroad, and 6
Million
 went to
Australia
.
This
 is a little less than 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. We can
also
 see that the share of
Japanese
tourists
 decreased in 1990.
Submitted by korbinian.schoerghuber on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words japanese, tourists, million, australia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: