IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#government #money #railways #roads
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In
Change preposition
At
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present
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the present
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 time,
Use synonyms
train
Add an article
the train
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 is
one
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 of the means of transportation since it is commonly popular in every country.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the safest
type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 of transportation to get
the
Change preposition
to the
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destination
Use synonyms
 quickly and comfortably so
that is
Linking Words
 why the
railway
Use synonyms
 is paid
of
Change preposition
apply
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important
attention
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.
Change preposition
to.
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However
Linking Words
 , most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the individuals prefer travelling by
car
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
train
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 why the road should be even and
good
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of good
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 quality for travelling in
Add an article
a cozy
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cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
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way
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. There is the statement that
governmental
Correct article usage
the governmental
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 budget should be spent on
railways
Use synonyms
 rather than
roads
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. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 citation since affordable
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
 and technical safety characteristics of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the train
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train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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 are good reasons for improving
railways
Use synonyms
 rather than
roads
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, not everyone can purchase cars or pay for
the
Correct article usage
a
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taxi
Use synonyms
. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
train
Use synonyms
 is cheaper than
Use synonyms
taxi
Add an article
a taxi
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 or buying petroleum for the
car
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 ,
Use synonyms
railway
Add an article
the railway
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 should be paid much
attention
Use synonyms
 by the country's administration. To illustrate , in our country the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
train
Correct article usage
a train
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 is twice cheaper
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
Use synonyms
taxi
Add an article
a taxi
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.
This
Linking Words
 is really advantageous
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 for students , who can purchase affordable
way
Use synonyms
 of
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
railway
Add an article
the railway
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 is
extremely
Correct article usage
an extremely
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 proper
way
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
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long
Add an article
the long
a long
show examples
Use synonyms
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
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.
For instance
Linking Words
 , travelling from my hometown to our capital Astana is comfortable by
railway
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 rather than by road because it is not safe to travel by
car
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 for
long
Add an article
the long
a long
show examples
destination
Use synonyms
 .
Thus
Linking Words
, countries should pay
attention
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 enhancing the quality of
railways
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 by raising money
to
Change preposition
for
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 it. The
next
Linking Words
 reason, travelling by
train
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 is safer rather than by cars since cars can be broken any time .
However
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
train
Add an article
the train
show examples
 is safer due to
qualified
Add an article
the qualified
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driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
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 will manage the movement of the
train
Use synonyms
 so that passengers can safely and calmly travel without worrying that they could be frozen
of
Correct your spelling
or
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get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 cold.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , by statistics ,
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 is being happened
often
Correct quantifier usage
more often
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 than incidents on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the railway
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railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
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 due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 technical characteristics of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the train
a train
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train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
 , during
raining
Replace the word
rainy
show examples
 or freezing weather the chance to have
car
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 crash is more expectable
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
train
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. So, safety is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most significant
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
 for everyone since
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it the life of human beings is dependent.
This
Linking Words
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most important
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why
railway
Use synonyms
 should be paid off much
Use synonyms
attention
Correct quantifier usage
more attention
show examples
 than
roads
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
Use synonyms
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 and
roads
Use synonyms
 are both vital for people getting
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
destination
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
railway
Add an article
the railway
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 has advantages over the road
such
Linking Words
 as good
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 and
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 of transportation. If the government raises money for
railways
Use synonyms
 than
roads
Use synonyms
,
less incident
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer incidents
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 injuring
Correct article usage
the community's
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community's life
Change noun form
community
show examples
 would happen.
Moreover
Linking Words
, middle class or families with low income who can not purchase
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 or afford
Use synonyms
taxi
Correct article usage
a taxi
show examples
 can get
Add an article
a ticket
show examples
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
train
Correct article usage
the train
show examples
 and easily get
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
destination
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by zhadym on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
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