IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently booked a part time course at a college, You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to your college administrator. In your letter Say which part time course you’ve booked. explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course. Begin as : Dear Sir or Madam

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Dear Sir, I hope
this
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 email finds you in good health and you are doing well. I am writing
this
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 letter to cancel the
course
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 that I booked at your reputed college.
To begin
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 with, I am Thomas Cook and I am from Toronto, Canada. Because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 demand in the apparel manufacturing sector, recently, I enrolled in a part-time
course
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 on "Supply Chain Management" which will be commencing
from
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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next week. Since most of the classes will be held in the evening in
this
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 four-month-long certification
course
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, it will be a little bit difficult for me to maintain the schedule as I got a part-time job as a supply chain analyst in a multinational company where my duty hour is from 4 pm to 10 pm. As far as I am concerned, there is another certification
course
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 on "Strategic Management" which will be going to start in the next month.
Hence
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, I am very much interested in enrolling on
this
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course
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 as all classes of
this
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course
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 will be held in the morning time.
Therefore
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, you are requesting to book
this
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course
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. I look forward to hearing from you soon regarding the booking of the new
course
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. Yours faithfully, Shai Hope

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Task Achievement
Ensure that you begin your letter with the appropriate salutation, 'Dear Sir or Madam,' as per the prompt, rather than 'Dear Sir,' unless you are certain of the recipient's gender. This will help you adhere more closely to the task requirements.
Task Achievement
Your reason for cancelling and your request for booking a different course are clear and concise, which is excellent. To score higher in task achievement, you could elaborate a bit more on your interest in the 'Strategic Management' course, explaining why you believe it suits your needs or career goals better (beyond scheduling), which would provide a more complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is well-structured with a logical flow, moving smoothly from the introduction, to explaining the reason for cancellation, and then to requesting enrollment in a different course. To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider adding a brief concluding sentence to summarize your request or express hope for a positive outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make use of a variety of transition words to smooth the progression from one idea to the next. While your letter does progress logically, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'As a result,' or 'Consequently' in appropriate places can enrich the text's connective tissue.
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